Anna and Brynn: A Birthday Post.

We met you on your second birthday.  We traveled the winding streets of Novokuznetsk, Russia en route to Baby Home #1 in an old van with a driver who hardly spoke English.  We whipped in and out of traffic passing old apartment buildings and people standing in the streets.  I was nervous.  This was the moment I had been praying for, waiting for and we were here.

We finally arrived.  I remember sights and smells like it was yesterday.  We took our shoes off at the door and the warm air smacked us in the face as we entered the old building.  The air smelled like cabbage soup.  We were placed in a room to go over paperwork.  Then suddenly we were asked to step out into a hallway and there you were walking down the hallway toward me.  This was a moment I had played in my head too many times to count.

You were so scared.  You held tightly to your caregiver not wanting your daddy or me to hold you.  "They will warm up to you," encouraged our translator in a thick Russian accent.  "Let's take them outside to play," she said.  The translator spoke to you in Russian.  She kept repeating Mama... Papa, Mama... Papa.  It was all so surreal I didn't know what to do or to think.

Everything inside me wanted to grab you and hold you closely and never let go, but I knew you were frightened.  Once we were outside Anna, you let us hold you first.  You kept staring at our faces and you sat on your Daddy's lap.  Our translator, Olga handed you to me Brynn.  You held on so tightly and buried your face in between my shoulder and my neck.  I put my hand on the back of your head and held you tightly. I wanted you to feel safe and secure.  At that moment I knew that everything was going to be okay.

Anna you played on the ground with your daddy.  Brynn you sat quietly on my lap just watching.  Our translator took picture after picture of our "new" family. 

Finally the dreaded time came.  Time to leave.  We would have one more visit with you the next day before we had to go back to the United States without you and wait for the Russian government to provide us with a court date when we could travel back to Russia to bring you home.

Your dad and I went back to our hotel that day and sat looking at the pictures of you girls for hours.  We talked about how your demeanors were different than we imagined and how pretty you were.  Daddy wrote in the journal we kept so we wouldn't forget any of it.  I wondered if you ate cake on your second birthday and if you got to celebrate on your special day. I reminisced about the party we would throw on your third birthday at our home surrounded by family.

The next morning we traveled back to the orphanage to visit with you one last time before returning home.  I brought you pink care bears thinking you would love them and they scared you to death.  The minute I got them out you were terrified a started to scream.  We brought you a picture book with pictures of your new home and of Daddy and me and your grandparents. You loved it. You sat the whole time and looked at the album.  You would point to the pictures and say Mama...Papa.  My heart swelled. We gave you each a blanket that Daddy and I had slept with every night before meeting you so that you could get used to our scent.  You held them close to your face.

We played with you both on the slide and Daddy tossed you high into the air. That was the first time I saw you smile Brynn. You just couldn't hide it anymore. I will never forget Daddy telling me to "walk slowly" when it was time to take you in for lunch. We didn't know the next time we would see you again. It was heart wrenching. Daddy and I cried all the way back to our hotel all the while

praying and having faith that the God who gave you to us would keep you safe.

3 long months after your second birthday we were reunited forever. There wasn't a day I didn't think about what you were doing. Next week you will be eight years old.  Hard to believe.  I am nostalgic thinking about how you have blossomed.

Anna you are my tomboy.  You love to play outside and get dirty and  wow can you play soccer. I  love to watch you run down the field.  I feel so proud when people tell me how good you are.  You love nothing more than watching your Pop coach baseball and sitting in the dug out with the team.  You have stretched me and shown me a different type of girl than myself. You are sweet and persistent and we share the same love for Sunday naps all curled up with a blanket in our jammies.

Brynn you are smart and kind.  You are like a second mother to your little sisters, they love you so.  You have excelled in school and your wittiness keeps me laughing everyday.  You love to dress up and every time I turn around you have some sort of costume on, playing make believe that you are on a Texas ranch or  that you are a Sonic waitress or a police officer.  You are so creative and curious. Lately, you have started helping me cook and I adore it.  I love sharing my love of cooking with you.

Things are much different on your eighth birthday.  You have changed and I have changed but what will never change is the love I have for you two sweet girls.  The love that I can't explain to others, the love that was instantaneous the minute I saw you.  So Happy Birthday.  I celebrate how far you have come and the wonderful young ladies you are.  Truly, a God given gift. Thankful.

Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.  Phil 1:3

Happy eighth birthday my twinkies.  Can't wait to go bowling;)

I love you so much!

Mama  xoxoxoxoxoxo