What is oneness you ask...
Oneness in marriage involves complete unity with each other. It's more than a mere mingling of two humans-- it's a tender merger of body, soul and spirit.
-Dennis Rainey
The conference was full of couples just like us. People who love each other but are just busy with everyday life, people who have kids, people who desire to have the marriage God intended us to share and enjoy.
It was refreshing to see people actively working on their marriage. Talking about hard issues, working through disagreements and learning how to better communicate.
It is understanding that gives us an ability to have peace. When we understand the other fellow's viewpoint, and he understands ours, then we can work out our differences.
-Harry Truman
The biggest thing I personally learned about communication with Ben is timing is everything and that his style is completely different from mine....and drum role please... sometimes silence is golden. Who would have thought silence could be golden, and if we are silent it doesn't mean he doesn't love me. I think that was one of my ah ha moments throughout the weekend.
Marriage is more significant than you may have thought. Marriage was designed by God and is defined by God. Marriage is at the center of God's purpose for mankind. Couples who mirror God's image experience oneness in their marriage.
Oneness in marriage is only possible when we consider our spouse before we consider ourselves.
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2;3-4
As a couple we are to multiply a godly legacy. Now this is not only possible by popping babies out. There are plenty of ways to become a mother. I think Ben and I have the be fruitful and multiply part covered.
Another ah ha moment... God's cornerstone principle for marriage, We must choose (yes that is right not always want but choose) to receive our spouse as God's perfect provision for us. We must focus on God's character and His goodness in providing our spouse. View your spouse as a gift.
Yes ladies, that means he is a gift when his clothes are on the floor or he feeds the kids chips for dinner or when (this one is for me) he reorganizes the pantry for the 3rd time in a week. Yes gentlemen, she is a gift when she takes ten years to get ready, talks during football games, and is always too tired to well...you know...
The weekend was fabulous. We didn't want to come home. We took uninterrupted naps, strolled hand in hand, ate way too much food and talked, and yes sometimes we sat in silence just enjoying each others presence.
If you feel so inclined the conference is called Weekend to Remember by Family Life Ministries. You should go. They have conferences all over the country.
People I get it. Life is crazy, things change, people change, kids are all consuming, marriage is hard. But it is worth working on. Ben and I aren't perfect. We have our moments but what we desire to achieve in our marriage is what makes it special. We will get there someday. I am sure of it;)
Well written Shannon, Lois and I are nearing 30 years together. We have been through many struggles, especially with our children as they struggle with their own lives and it is so important to remember God put us together first. It's tough to hold your spouse as the #1 in your life all the time and the alone times we are now away from it all are treasured for sure. Thanks for your honesty again and being OCD myself thanks for allowing him to organize the pantry!
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