Who am I?

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about myself.  What I like.  What I dislike.  About my spiritual life and my marriage. I have been wondering if I am self righteous.  I have even been pondering about trivial things like my face. Am I  starting to look old?  Midlife crisis? Nope.  But I do admit sometimes I get lost in the humongous responsibility of my family and forget about myself.

Sometimes, I am awfully hard on myself.  This week I talked to God a lot about "me." The resounding answer I heard was, " I created you just the way you are."

On that note who am I?

I’m an honest person.  I have high expectations and can be judgmental.  I love to cook for people.  I hate crafts and don't have a creative bone in my body. I’m courageous and determined.  If you tell me I can't do something it makes me want to do it more.  I am loyal to a fault. I have a huge heart and I feel peoples pain, deeply.  It's a blessing and a curse. It takes a lot to make me mad and I give lots of second chances.  I fiercely love my family.  I have a heart for orphans and adoption. I hate to clean, but one of my favorite things is a clean house. My favorite spot is the beach.  It calms me.  I love to shop. I’m a great listener, but I really struggle with keeping my mouth shut at times.  My faith is everything to me. I want to share it with the world and don't want to come across as self righteous in the process. Still trying to figure that out. I love people. I feel God has given me the gift of encouragement.  I am a sweet tea and fast food addict. I feel my number one job, currently, is to be a good wife and mother.  Someday, I want to write a book or be a realtor.  I am totally transparent.  That is why I write this blog and admit my shortcomings publicly.  I hate facades.  I talk to God throughout my days.  I couldn't live without a relationship with Him and He adores me.

God created me just the way I am and He loves me.  (relaxed sigh)

Life is about embracing all your gifts and faults and using talents God gave you. Be who He made you to be.

In this world of blogs, Internet, Pinterest, and Facebook we are constantly exposed to other's lives.  We read about what they think and how they parent and how they dress and what they eat or don't eat.  It sometimes leaves me wondering.   I question myself.  Who am I? What do I believe? What do I like? Am I good enough?  Media isn't necessarily a bad thing if you can stay grounded in the process. We have to weed through it all.  Know who you are.  Know who you are in Christ.

Christ gave me that big heart that feels every ones pain for a reason. To benefit His Kingdom.  He made me fiercely loyal.  He gave me a passion for adoption.  He gave me a love of sweet tea.  Who knows, maybe someday I will meet someone in the McDonald's check out line that He wants me to be in contact with.

I want to love myself.  With all my quirks, and imperfections because God loved me first.  He has a purpose for me. But God also gave me trials and four children and difficult people in my life to help me rub off my rough edges.  To make me more dependent on Him.

On that note.  I did buy ridiculously expensive (for me anyway) skin care products this week because I came to the conclusion that I need them. 

Who are you?  God loves you.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.  Jeremiah 1:4-5

I am familiar with all your ways.  Psalm 139:3

For you are my treasured possession Exodus 19:5

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14