The Sister Life

                                                                                                                                    

There are moments my daughters are completely annoyed with each other.  "Moooom, tell Aubrey to get out of our room."  "Mama Caroline is touching my stuff."  "Brynn is copying me, tell her to stop." I know little sisters can be annoying.  However, not my little sister.  Never.  Love you, Sarah.

 

Then there are those sweet moments that happen quite naturally.  Moments that aren't scripted or encouraged.  These moments give me hope. They make my heart go pitter patter and skip a beat.

 Brynn tying Caroline's shoes.

 All four girls walking hand in hand in the mall today.  I walked behind speechless.  Never mind    that they were totally blocking the aisle.  I was basking in the moment. If I only had my camera.

Anna helping Aubrey walk up the steps at church on Sunday.

Caroline making her sister's bed to surprise her.

Anna sitting Aubrey on her lap to ride her Flash Rider 360 because Aubs can't reach the pedals.  Last evening Anna went barreling down the driveway full speed ahead with Aubs on her lap. Slight heart attack...slight.( I included a visual for you.  Just in case you are not cool enough to know what a flash rider is. I have been enlightened.  I just learned on the twins' birthday.  Grandma Kneisley delivered.)

 

The twins take turns carrying Aubrey. She always seems to be too tired to walk.  (I have discussed with her that she will be starting pre school in a couple weeks and I assured her nobody will be carrying her just because she doesn't like to walk)  Yeah, I did it to her. Poor Aubrey.  She was little and slow and the fourth kid.  I was busy and in a hurry and it was just easier to put her on my hip and go. Guilty. I guess she will learn to walk more than 2 minutes at a time soon enough.  I refuse to carry her into her freshman dorm for college.

I digress.

There is a love exists and is unspoken.  It is rare.  And though they may not like each other many days.  They love each other. Forever.  It's the kind of love that speaks without saying  a word.  I got your back. You're not in this life alone. I am here for you always. I will help you.

It's also the message that Christ has for us--- His children.

I love that.  I have prayed for that relationship to develop between my daughters and I am watching it unfold right before my eyes. Slowly, quietly, unprompted.

I have that kind of relationship with my sisters. It's rare.  Once in a lifetime.  I have always desired  to facilitate it with my girls but I had no idea how. So, I have prayed.  God is answering my prayer. Day by day.  Slowly but surely.

I desire for my girls to be able to celebrate successes and feel each others' pain.
Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.  Romans 12:15
No competition.

Now, by no means am I claiming that I don't break up approximately 1228 fights per day.  Sometimes more. Anna still claims she wants to be an only child.  I don't believe her.

 

Gratitude for the sister life.

 

Enough for this mama today.



The Birds and the Bees

It's that time.  Time to have "the" conversation with Anna and Brynn.  They start fourth grade this fall.  I have been told that that is the year that friends start discussing a colorful array of subjects. Looking back on my childhood, it proves to be true. Fourth grade was the year.

It's strange really. With older and younger children,  I have a toe dipped in the waters of two different worlds.  On one hand I am holding up letter flashcards and playing dollhouse and on the other I have the imminent need to discuss  adult things with Anna and Brynn. Subject matter that will steal their innocence. Subjects like how people become pregnant and periods and boys.  If done correctly and according to God's plan those things are wonderful. (Well, maybe not the period part. Right ladies?) However, done out of sequence they can cause much heartache and pain.  My theory up until now has been ignorance is bliss, but not really.   I know that if I don't tell them they will find out from someone else and most likely, kids at school with incorrect information.  It seems that I am volunteering to remove the scales of innocence from their eyes.  As their Mama it is hard for me to do.

I love their innocence.  I love their flat chests and the fact that think someone can only get pregnant after they are married.  I love that they believe a baby grows inside a woman after she swallows a seed. I have inquired to see what they know.  It isn't much.  Honestly, it made me happy that they are still young, their minds are pure and carefree.  I wish they could stay that way forever.

They still laugh when they hear the word poop.  So imagine the snickers and eye rolls I am going to receive when I start the birds and bees talk. I know I have to prepare them for life.  Knowledge is power.  I fear telling them too much before they are ready. I worry about the questions they will ask and that I will be able to answer them appropriately.

I bought the book by Judy Blume, Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret? Hopefully, that will help. I have read websites like Dr. Phil and Focus on the Family.  It's time to jump in head first.  I dread it but it's responsible. Can you hear the pep talk I am giving myself as I type?  My sweet friend told me the other day that she had "the talk" with her daughter.  "It's not fun or comfortable, but you have to do it," she insisted. So I'm jumping in...next week that is.

This week the older girls are still with their grandparents. I will celebrate innocence a little longer. You gotta love toddlers.  I will play princess, gawk at twirly dresses for the 100th time and rock doll babies.  Because I know, it won't always be that way.    Today, I will go back to folding bloomers and frilly socks for a few more days.

If you think of it whisper a prayer for me. I need it. Or if you did something that was really effective please share. This parenting thing ain't easy! I'm sure "the talk" will prove to be a hilarious sequel to this blog.  Please standby :)

No Coincidence.

We all have friends from our life's journey that we may not talk to everyday but will always remain near and dear to our hearts.  One of those friends contacted me yesterday.  She proceeded to tell me that her grandson had been killed in a tragic accident.  He was only 21 years old. She said that she just knew that I would understand.

Ben left for work this morning at 4:30am.  His alarm went off approximately ten times. It was blaringly loud. I think it was successful at waking everyone else up except him.  Nonetheless, he left for work and I was wide awake at 5am.  Now, for the sake of being transparent, it was the perfect time for me to get my booty out of bed and have my quiet time but instead I was on Facebook.  Sigh.

But wait.  Before you condemn me I'm going to illustrate how the Lord uses Facebook. My sweet friend I referenced above messaged me. She was on Facebook at the crack of dawn as well. We had a long conversation about God, anger, faith and trusting God when we cannot see. I shared some of my life experiences and we talked about what lessons I had learned from trials. I told her I do know that nothing that happens to us goes unused. Everything in life is used for God's glory and purposes. The good and the bad. I left the conversation promising to send her some verses that would help her get through this most difficult time.

As I dove into God's word, looking for verses to help my friend, verse after verse kept speaking to me.  I have been going through some hard times in my own life.  The past few days I have been having my own personal pity party.  So the verses I was looking up for my friend were just what I needed as well.

This just testifies to the fact that God uses all situations for the good of His children. I thought I was helping a friend but God was really using her to help me.  I am humbled.  Nothing is an accident, nothing is a coincidence. He uses relationships formed years ago, Facebook and Ben's annoying alarm to have us just where He wants us.  God is faithful.

So thankful my sweet friend contacted me.  God used it to speak to me about the power of leaning on His word.

It dawned on me as I looked up verses that I should share these with everyone.  I know God uses everyday situations to help people who need gentle encouragement.  I am starting my day realizing my utter dependence on God's word.  It provides truth for me to stand on. A firm foundation. A refuge in times of trouble.

Here are the verses I am sending my friend.  Maybe God will use them to speak to you as well.  Blessings.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect me. Psalm 23:4

But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed... 2 Timothy 4:17

Do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous hand. Isaiah 41:10

The Lord is good a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust him. Nahum 1:7

 I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness, made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:6-9

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18

The Lord will guide you always;  he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Isaiah 58:11

 Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine. Ephesians 3:20

 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,   knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.   But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.   If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.   But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.   For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;   he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
James 1:2-8

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.  Psalm 91:4

Be strong and courageous. Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.   Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11: 28-30

Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Listen to me, you descendants of Jacob all the remnant of the people of Israel, you whom I have upheld since your birth, and have carried since you were born. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:3-4

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.  Hebrews 13:8

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7

Plaster these anywhere that will help you commit them to memory. your bathroom mirror, your car or by the kitchen sink. We need to have God's word on the tip of our tongues and etched on our hearts.  God's word. totally sufficient.

Road Trip

First stop Kentucky.  Every summer we head out of the sweltering heat to visit family and friends in cooler parts of the United States.  Our children anticipate it all year and this year was no exception. 

My family lives in Kentucky. While there, we visited relatives and swam in Nana's pool.  Her pool has a diving board that has no age or height requirement (unlike where we swim). All my girls jumped to their hearts content.  This was the first year Aubrey got in on the action and she loved it.  One day we visited with my Grammy Jean.  She is my only living grandparent and it is always a treat to spend time with her.  The girls "endure" all my stories about my childhood memories at her home  But we enjoy reminiscing.  Nana even babysat for us so that Ben and I could go out to dinner.  The girls stayed up late and watched  movies.

Second stop, Ohio.  Ben's family lives in Ohio.   We drove 5 hours north to spend a week with them.  They own two acres of land.  My girls run around outside all day exploring and helping Grandma pick vegetables from the garden.  Sounds idyllic huh?  Well it is. We took a picnic lunch to Lake Erie for dinner one evening.  On my birthday, we went to the Cleveland Museum of Art and the girls took art lessons.  Afterwards, we went to Little Italy and had Italian pastries at a bakery, followed by lunch at the Cheesecake Factory.  Most of all I enjoyed sitting on my in laws back deck chatting, with the cool, northern breeze blowing through my hair.  Cool breezes in July are foreign to this Floridian.

Third stop, The Lake in Apple Valley, Ohio.  We have a tradition where each year on the fourth of July we meet our best friends from college and stay at their lake house.  We go boating and tubing and talk while our kids take turns sliding and jumping off the dock.  It is pure heaven. We wear our bathing suits all weekend.  I never know what time it is while we are there.  We eat delicious food and catch up with each other.  It is so special to watch our children play together.  They have so much fun.  Our husbands turn into pyros setting off way too many fireworks to count. It is one of my favorite things we do as a family.

This year we did something that we have talked about for the past few years.  We left Anna with Grandma and Grandpa Kneisley and Brynn with Nana and Pop.    I feel very fortunate that my girls have grandparents who know them and want to spend time with them.  They know their interests, their personalities, their food preferences and what their struggles are. I want them to have one on one time with their grandparents.  I want them to remember sweet moments and gain wisdom.

 My heart swelled as I listened to  Grandma Kneisley read aloud with Anna.  I love to watch my mother teach the girls to fill up the deer feeder and sit eagerly on her porch and admire birds and watch for deer.  I listen as they tell my girls about faith and friendship and manners  My heart overflows with gratitude.  It takes a village.

These two weeks Anna and Brynn are receiving priceless attention from their grandparents-- times ten.    Anna will be taking art lessons at the art museum, visiting Niagara Falls and she emailed me that Grandpa had already set her up an art studio in the garage and bought her acrylic paints.  Yesterday, I received a text from my Mama with a picture of Brynn at the park eating doughnuts.  She will be visiting the Kentucky Horse Farms and playing baseball with her Pop. Mama has already taught her to play two songs on the piano.  Priceless, priceless times. Thankful, thankful me.

This is also a test.  A time to see if everything I am teaching them is put into action.  Not that the Grandparents will tell me.  But I can't help but wonder will my girls remember their manners? will they be helpful and kind? Will they clean up their messes and make their beds? Will they remember to give thanks to God everyday without me reminding them? Will they be able to keep track of their belongings and match their clothes? It's hard to let them "fly" a little.  This separation is a small glimpse into the future. They will be on their own and I have to rest on the fact that I taught them all I could and it's time to turn them over to God.  He will do the rest.  It occurred to me today that in life, my girls are truly only in our household for a short time.  Most of their lives will be spent away from us making their own decisions, spreading their wings. Our job is to prepare them for God to use them.

Our car was empty with just 2 kiddos on our trip back to Fl.  Every time we stopped to potty I felt like I was missing something.  The noise level is down considerably (Can't complain about that)  But it hit me as I sat in their empty room on their beds yesterday and whispered a prayer for them--  they complete us.  Our family may not have any boys, and we may have more kids than most but it's perfect and when part of our family unit is missing there is a hole.  It is noticeable.  I can't believe I am going to say this but, yes, I miss Brynn's incessant talking.  It's weird not to have Anna standing over my bed in the morning asking me what we are going to do for the day.

We dropped Brynn off last before heading home to Florida. Caroline and Aubrey were both crying.  Caroline whimpers, "But we have no sisters left." Tears rolling down her cheeks.  One of the greatest gifts our girls have is the gift of sisterhood.

Every member of my family plays an integral part in our family dynamics.  God planned it perfectly and I give him all the glory.

It's nice to be home. I am spending the next couple weeks focusing on my two littlest.

“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.”
― Mother Teresa