This and That. Work, Kids, Man Caves and Ministry.

How do you like the title of this blog?  Totally original I know.

One of my prayers over the past year is that God will show me people that need encouragement or a gentle touch.  That He will make it obvious to me.  I can be utterly distracted at times. 

As I have always said don't EVER pray for something if you don't really mean it.  If you don't want a full time job helping people don't pray that God will make you aware.  Because girlfriends, He will.  I can't tell you how many times lately a random person has popped in my head.  A person that may not have been on my radar screen.  Someone that made me think, I need to send a card to them, or I should send  an encouraging text msg or I should check in with that person I haven't heard from her in awhile. I often get an overwhelming feeling that someone is struggling or lonely.  Man, am I in tune to all that.  It's a blessing and a curse. Not a day goes by that I don't think of someone I can help.  I know it is God speaking to me and now I just need to work on my follow through.  My batting average isn't great lately. My time is constrained.

You see I took this thing called a job.  Now, I do not need to get on my feminist soapbox and tell you what a full time job being a stay at home mom is.   I kinda already had a job sans pay check.  But to be perfectly honest as much as I like staying home I was feeling the need to broaden my horizons a little. Some days I was absolutely positive that my brain had turned to mush.  So when a perfect opportunity came my way I jumped on it.  Work from home, flexible schedule, working for a company I believe in and love.  However, I didn't realize how hard finding the time to work would really be. 

Working from home sounds like a dream but it's a little hard.  My time goes like this, make a few calls, clean up Vick's vapor rub that Aubrey has smeared all over my house, make a few calls, check my email and clean up an accident that Aubrey had on the bathroom floor and then walked through to tell me she can't wipe very well.  I'm just saying it's not all it is cracked up to be.  Now one thing I am enjoying is that little thing called a pay check that is appearing in my mailbox every couple weeks.  Haven't had one of those in awhile.   My little slush fund.  I know Ben is probably enjoying way less charges on the debit card.

I am sticking with it.  I am conflicted daily over ministry opportunities and working.  I don't have to work and I know this is not everybody's situation.  So don't send me hate mail.  My hat goes off to you working mothers  I am struggling to juggle it all---take care of my family, work, and be an  encourager which I feel God has called me to do. I do know that things that seem small are often very big things to people. So, go ahead and do them no matter how minute something may seem. I am trying to follow the same rule.

I am praying about everything.  This song came to me this morning in the shower.

 Lord, you are more precious than silver, Lord, you are more costly than gold, Lord, you are more beautiful than diamonds, and nothing I desire compares with you.

I thought about the meaning of the words and I want to emulate the last line in my life.

Still chewing on it. Just waking up everyday and giving my day to Him.  That's all I can do.

Since Christmas, my living room has been turned into a man cave.  And I allowed it.  Ben has been talking for at least 5 years about getting leather couches, and a big screen TV.  For years I fought it.  A big screen over my mantle? No thanks.  But I let him do it.  He's like a giddy school boy.  He sits in his reclining sofa smiling from ear to ear trying to prove to me how much better TV is on a bigger TV with high definition. I just nod because honestly, I can't tell the difference. But he loves it,  I tried some girly throw pillows to soften the brown leather and I don't know how well it worked but it made me feel better.  I am missing the mantle decorations that had to be taken down because they were obstructing the view.  Marriage is about compromise...  and Ben sure does live with alot of women.  Surely he deserves this right? He did listen to me when I put the kibosh on cup holders in the sofa.  Thank heavens.

Speaking of compromise Ben finally caved and got us both iPhones for Christmas.  We now lay in bed on Saturday morning playing Words with Friends with each other while we let all hell break loose on the other side of the bedroom door.  It is worth it and I'm getting pretty good.  Maybe I will beat him some day.

Thanks for all the kind words about my blog after the last post.  The  message that came through was less is more, keep writing so that is what I plan to do for now.  Thanks for supporting me.

2013

How is it 2013?  I remember when the year 2000 seemed like the future and I imagined it would be just like the Jetson's.  It is and it isn't.  Still driving a car around not flying to the grocery store yet. That little thing called an iPhone that I got for Christmas is pretty Jetsony (Is that a word?)

 I have to admit I have been going back and forth about my blog and whether I should continue to write it.  It is hard to find time and I want to do it justice not just write something quickly because I haven't written in a long time.  I have been pondering if it is safe to put all my girls pictures on here each week. I have thought about not including pictures, but it's not as good and beautiful and plus I got a new camera for Christmas...a good one that I can't wait to use.  I don't know if all this is the devil getting in my head and trying to discourage me or what.  But today I woke up and felt like I needed to write.  I am still trying to decide.

What a year. 2012 started out so terribly I shutter to remember the month of January.  But I look at my healthy Caroline and I can say "Okay God,  I get it."  I can kind of see what you were doing.  I see what I needed to learn, how others faith and prayer lives were renewed along with my own.  How people's kindness impacted my life dramatically for eternity.  I will never be the same.  Honestly, Caroline's sickness was awful and painful and it was hard to see her suffer and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. However, God calls us to be thankful for trials and this is how I have been able to find the good in the midst of the storm and rejoice through my suffering.

2012 stretched me beyond my wildest imagination.  What I could endure, what I could learn, how grateful my heart could feel, how out of line my priorities could get, how much I could enjoy my family, what more I could add to my schedule (I took a job working from home), how much I could love my children.  But what a year it was.  Can't say that I'm not a little glad to start 2013 though...
 Of course by putting all my lessons learned into practice.

Some new endeavours to start the year.  Joined the steering team to help start a MOPS (Mother of Preschoolers) at my church.  Back working for my old company which I love.  It has been challenging finding the time to work and mother.  Being a working mom is not for the faint of heart.  I have never done it before so I'm getting into the groove.

In 2013 I want to love people more, be a more present mom, get organized,be successful at my job, minister to people in need and I want my life to exude Jesus Christ.  These are not resolutions.  I feel the minute I call them resolutions I won't do them.  These are my hopes.

I'm gonna try.   

A journey of 1000 miles begins with one step.  This is not fluff,  it's true.  Here's to stepping into 2013.