Caroline will be four this weekend. I have never been so happy to celebrate a birthday in my entire life. After almost losing her last year to a strange infection there is not a day that goes by that I don't kiss her forehead, take in the scent of her hair and thank God for her life. Not just a fleeting thought that I'm so lucky to have her, but that I am truly thankful for her life.
I know that God chose her to walk down that difficult path last year as hard as it was on her and our family because He had a purpose. He used her in a mighty way to strengthen people's faith and prayer life. I know HE used my little girl and her illness to teach me some mighty lessons and stretch me personally. Yes, God, I have learned. Not only have I listened and learned but I have put those lessons into practice in my life.
But am I ever so grateful that this birthday I will not be sitting in her empty room crying. God left her here to live a life that will bring glory to His name. I have been given the charge of teaching her and guiding her to know her mighty creator. What a blessing.
Oh I love her so.
She is a bright ray of sunshine to our family everyday. She is funny and smart and sweet. She mothers her sisters oh so tenderly. Her gentle spirit is a constant reminder to me on how to live. She dances and sings through her days.
It sounds so cliche but I can't believe she is four. Seems like yesterday I rocked her tiny eight pound body, and held her close to my chest almost in disbelief that she was here and she was mine. After our ordeal last year I did the same thing just last night.
We baked cupcakes for her class this week. It is the first year she can crack the egg free from shells falling in the batter. She is growing up.
Needless to say, I don't take our precious time on earth together for granted anymore. As her birthday approaches I celebrate her life and all that God has planned for her. May I always hear His voice in leading and guiding her little life to point to our Savior in every way. May I teach her to have a thankful spirit regardless of circumstances, that dependence on God is the only way to enjoy an abundant life and that the peace of Christ flows freely from the throne of grace.
I am ready to blow up balloons, eat pizza, unwrap presents and chase Aubrey all around Ollie Koala's for her birthday party this weekend as we celebrate our sweet Caroline Noel. She will always be our best Christmas gift.
Happy Birthday my sweet girl. I love you so much it hurts at times.
Thank you Jesus.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Wednesday Quickie
If you all are like me you are in full holiday swing. Social calendars fill up, school parties, shopping and the list goes on.
Honestly, this year I am not buying as much as I have in the past. A personal choice for our family. However, I have found a couple gifts that I thought I would share with you all too. I don't know about you but I am always thankful for unique gift ideas that have meaning.
It's no secret if you are a regular reader of my blog that I love the devotional book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. So it's no surprise that I am telling you to buy this book for everyone you know and yourself too. However did you know they make this devotional for different ages? This year they made a copy for 2-4 year olds. Actually, it is not too "babyish" (Brynn's word) for my eight year olds either. It is a beautifully illustrated Bible storybook. If you are in my family and have a toddler aged child don't buy it because you are probably getting it from me.
Also something my sister, Stacy bought for me, Hidden in My Heart CD series is Bible scripture put to music. It could be used as a lullaby CD for bedtime. But often on crazy days when we are running around we play it in our car. It helps me to keep perspective and keep God at the forefront of my mind. Not always easy. On the way to school this morning, which I would describe as hectic (maybe a little bit of an understatement) I hear my sweet Caroline singing along to it in the car. The song was the Bible verse, " Be Still and Know that I am God." She is being equipped for life with memorization of scripture and doesn't even know it;) Perfect.
Hope your shopping goes well this year and that these ideas help. You can buy them both on Amazon.com
Honestly, this year I am not buying as much as I have in the past. A personal choice for our family. However, I have found a couple gifts that I thought I would share with you all too. I don't know about you but I am always thankful for unique gift ideas that have meaning.
It's no secret if you are a regular reader of my blog that I love the devotional book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. So it's no surprise that I am telling you to buy this book for everyone you know and yourself too. However did you know they make this devotional for different ages? This year they made a copy for 2-4 year olds. Actually, it is not too "babyish" (Brynn's word) for my eight year olds either. It is a beautifully illustrated Bible storybook. If you are in my family and have a toddler aged child don't buy it because you are probably getting it from me.
Also something my sister, Stacy bought for me, Hidden in My Heart CD series is Bible scripture put to music. It could be used as a lullaby CD for bedtime. But often on crazy days when we are running around we play it in our car. It helps me to keep perspective and keep God at the forefront of my mind. Not always easy. On the way to school this morning, which I would describe as hectic (maybe a little bit of an understatement) I hear my sweet Caroline singing along to it in the car. The song was the Bible verse, " Be Still and Know that I am God." She is being equipped for life with memorization of scripture and doesn't even know it;) Perfect.
Hope your shopping goes well this year and that these ideas help. You can buy them both on Amazon.com
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Christmas Lights etc.
Christmas. I love it! One of my favorite times of year. I love the sights, smells, and especially the music. My radio is already faithfully set on the continuous Christmas station. The sweet tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" is whirling in my head.
We put up our tree last weekend. Yeah, the sentimental time turned out to be a little challenging. I had seriously built it up in my head. Unfortunately, more than half of the lights on my pre lit Christmas tree did not light up. Ben was at work and my brother in law hurt his back. No help available. So I just strung working strings of lights over the ones that were not cooperating Necessity... the mother of invention. Sit and cut the non working lights off of the tree...no thank you.
After the debacle we lovingly, reminisced about each glitter colored toilet paper roll, paper angel, popsicle stick creation and of course our Baby Jesus ornament that plays music. Aubrey informed me that she made almost 90% of the ornaments on our tree including the crystal one that says, "First Christmas Together Year 2000."
Wrapped in blinking lights, red tulle, and covered in fancy and homemade ornaments our tree stands in all it's glory. I have the lights turned on pretty much around the clock because it makes me happy. The girls share my holiday enthusiasm. But whoever thought we could create a beautiful, flashing object, with lots of colors and textures all decorated with a star on top, sit it in the middle of our house and tell children not to touch is crazy. I have literally spent the last few days telling all four of my girls that they are going to knock the tree over and "Please look but don't touch." Not excluding my 8 year olds... We have already had two ornament casualties (um, now make that three) which shattered in a million pieces on the kitchen floor as a tiny human (who will remain nameless...I give you one guess) was bringing them to show me.
I learned early in my parenting career to put all ornaments I value at the very top of the tree. The only way little hands can reach them or break them is if they tip the tree over. I'm not saying that won't happen because it could very possibly happen, but it's added security. I also know that about 2 weeks before Christmas the entire bottom half of our tree will be undecorated because I eventually get tired of picking up and rehanging the ornaments.
It's all good. It's worth it. Christmas is better with my kiddos.
Who knows our elf Jerry may reappear any day now. However, Caroline is convinced this year he's not coming back because Anna touched him last year and she is positive he lost all his magic.
Let us enjoy the festivities and memories of the season.
The Tree reminds us of Jesus.
Revelation 22:14
The ornaments reminds us that Jesus is the "precious stone."
1 Peter 2:4
The lights on the tree remind us that Jesus is the light of the world.
John 9:5
The lights on the tree also reminds us of Jesus and how he fills the universe and promises us we will shine like the stars.
Philippians 2:15
The presents under the tree remind us of the wise men and of the spiritual gift of faith.
Matthew 2:11
Romans 12:6
We put up our tree last weekend. Yeah, the sentimental time turned out to be a little challenging. I had seriously built it up in my head. Unfortunately, more than half of the lights on my pre lit Christmas tree did not light up. Ben was at work and my brother in law hurt his back. No help available. So I just strung working strings of lights over the ones that were not cooperating Necessity... the mother of invention. Sit and cut the non working lights off of the tree...no thank you.
After the debacle we lovingly, reminisced about each glitter colored toilet paper roll, paper angel, popsicle stick creation and of course our Baby Jesus ornament that plays music. Aubrey informed me that she made almost 90% of the ornaments on our tree including the crystal one that says, "First Christmas Together Year 2000."
Wrapped in blinking lights, red tulle, and covered in fancy and homemade ornaments our tree stands in all it's glory. I have the lights turned on pretty much around the clock because it makes me happy. The girls share my holiday enthusiasm. But whoever thought we could create a beautiful, flashing object, with lots of colors and textures all decorated with a star on top, sit it in the middle of our house and tell children not to touch is crazy. I have literally spent the last few days telling all four of my girls that they are going to knock the tree over and "Please look but don't touch." Not excluding my 8 year olds... We have already had two ornament casualties (um, now make that three) which shattered in a million pieces on the kitchen floor as a tiny human (who will remain nameless...I give you one guess) was bringing them to show me.
I learned early in my parenting career to put all ornaments I value at the very top of the tree. The only way little hands can reach them or break them is if they tip the tree over. I'm not saying that won't happen because it could very possibly happen, but it's added security. I also know that about 2 weeks before Christmas the entire bottom half of our tree will be undecorated because I eventually get tired of picking up and rehanging the ornaments.
It's all good. It's worth it. Christmas is better with my kiddos.
Who knows our elf Jerry may reappear any day now. However, Caroline is convinced this year he's not coming back because Anna touched him last year and she is positive he lost all his magic.
Let us enjoy the festivities and memories of the season.
Isaiah 9:6 -- For to us a child is born, to us a son is
given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Merry Christmas!
My mantle garland looked beautiful and was working beautifully, lights glowing perfectly and then today all the lights stopped working totally. Sheesh...can this girl get a break from the light problems this year?
My mantle garland looked beautiful and was working beautifully, lights glowing perfectly and then today all the lights stopped working totally. Sheesh...can this girl get a break from the light problems this year?
The Tree reminds us of Jesus.
Revelation 22:14
The ornaments reminds us that Jesus is the "precious stone."
1 Peter 2:4
The lights on the tree remind us that Jesus is the light of the world.
John 9:5
The lights on the tree also reminds us of Jesus and how he fills the universe and promises us we will shine like the stars.
Philippians 2:15
The presents under the tree remind us of the wise men and of the spiritual gift of faith.
Matthew 2:11
Romans 12:6
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Hair Drying and God Speaking
I hear from God most clearly when I am drying my hair. Go ahead and laugh. It is funny but it's true. Could be the hum of the hair dryer drowns out all the other noise that is constant in my house. It is one moment in my day when I am relatively still and I stand in front of the mirror almost robotically to dry my hair and my mind always starts to wander.
I think about my life, my husband, my children and trials my friends and family may be going through. It is often a time when I pray for people who I have promised to pray for. I don't take that lightly. That is one lesson God taught me through my own daughter's illness. Don't flippantly tell people you are going to pray for them. If you say it really do it. They are counting on you. Do it while you dry your hair each morning;)
A couple of weeks ago, while drying my hair God put one of my girlfriends on my heart and a specific message I felt she needed to hear. I immediately stopped and went to email her. She called me a week later and told me that is exactly the encouragement she needed. I never want to miss a time when God wants to use me to speak to someone.
Sunday morning I was thinking about my own life and some things I am worried about and the verse "The joy of the Lord is my strength," popped right into my head. The last month or so the verse "Be still and know that I am God." seems to appear everywhere. It was a verse in my morning devotional, it was a title to a song on my daughter's lullaby tape, my sister has it written on Caleb's nursery wall. Coincidence? I think not. I had to smile. "Okay God. I get what you are trying to tell me."
I haven't always heard from God so clearly and I have been a Christian for many years. I had the thought yesterday that in order for God speak to me He uses His word. I haven't always had a consistent devotional time and I haven't always hungered for God's word. Once I started making it a priority and I became more familiar with different Bible verses I saw how God used this to speak to me.
I had been thinking about all this the past few days and then I heard a song on the radio today as I was chauffeuring my kiddos to school. I thought, "Okay God, I know you want this to be my next blog post and it prompted me to write today. The chorus goes like this:
Word of God speak
Would you pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That you're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In your holiness
Word of God speak
I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice.
So whether it is while you are drying your hair, or running, or at night after the kids go to bed or early in the morning over a hot cup of coffee ( or even luke warm...mine is always luke warm due to interruptions;) take some time to let Jesus speak to you. If you delve into His word and learn it, it will be easier to discern what God is saying to you. It will give you peace in your own life and He will be able to use you to impact others. Trust me there is a peace knowing that no matter what happens God is near. I believe He is near to me and I am thankful.
A picture of my hair actually dried and fixed! I have to admit I have been pony tailing it up and slapping on a hat all too often lately. Guess I should fix my hair everyday and give God a chance to speak! There is some motivation!
I think about my life, my husband, my children and trials my friends and family may be going through. It is often a time when I pray for people who I have promised to pray for. I don't take that lightly. That is one lesson God taught me through my own daughter's illness. Don't flippantly tell people you are going to pray for them. If you say it really do it. They are counting on you. Do it while you dry your hair each morning;)
A couple of weeks ago, while drying my hair God put one of my girlfriends on my heart and a specific message I felt she needed to hear. I immediately stopped and went to email her. She called me a week later and told me that is exactly the encouragement she needed. I never want to miss a time when God wants to use me to speak to someone.
Sunday morning I was thinking about my own life and some things I am worried about and the verse "The joy of the Lord is my strength," popped right into my head. The last month or so the verse "Be still and know that I am God." seems to appear everywhere. It was a verse in my morning devotional, it was a title to a song on my daughter's lullaby tape, my sister has it written on Caleb's nursery wall. Coincidence? I think not. I had to smile. "Okay God. I get what you are trying to tell me."
I haven't always heard from God so clearly and I have been a Christian for many years. I had the thought yesterday that in order for God speak to me He uses His word. I haven't always had a consistent devotional time and I haven't always hungered for God's word. Once I started making it a priority and I became more familiar with different Bible verses I saw how God used this to speak to me.
I had been thinking about all this the past few days and then I heard a song on the radio today as I was chauffeuring my kiddos to school. I thought, "Okay God, I know you want this to be my next blog post and it prompted me to write today. The chorus goes like this:
Word of God speak
Would you pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That you're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In your holiness
Word of God speak
I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice.
So whether it is while you are drying your hair, or running, or at night after the kids go to bed or early in the morning over a hot cup of coffee ( or even luke warm...mine is always luke warm due to interruptions;) take some time to let Jesus speak to you. If you delve into His word and learn it, it will be easier to discern what God is saying to you. It will give you peace in your own life and He will be able to use you to impact others. Trust me there is a peace knowing that no matter what happens God is near. I believe He is near to me and I am thankful.
A picture of my hair actually dried and fixed! I have to admit I have been pony tailing it up and slapping on a hat all too often lately. Guess I should fix my hair everyday and give God a chance to speak! There is some motivation!
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
A Challenge.
November. I love November. The hot, sticky Florida air cools down. We open our windows and let the breeze refresh our home and our souls. It's a first opportunity for new fuzzy sweatshirts and sparkly boots.
I have noticed over the past few years that people on Facebook are doing the 30 Days of Thankfulness and naming things they are thankful for each day. What a great idea. However, I want to propose a challenge. Since people are very focused right now on the blessings in life take the time to bless someone else.
Step our of your box, your busy schedule, your everyday routine and take the time to brighten someone's day. Take someone a meal, send a hand written note to let somebody know how special he/she is to you, pay for the persons dinner behind you in the drive thru line, drop by a friend's home with their favorite coffee, volunteer at the food pantry, take care of your neighbor's children for a few hours, donate some clothes to Goodwill, give money to a worthy cause. That's just for starters.
I am just so convicted lately how easy it is to sit back stagnantly in our comfy, privileged lifestyles and tell everyone how blessed and thankful we are. Do we pay it forward? God commands us to.
Actions speak louder than words.
It's so true.
Not such a bad thing to get your kiddos involved in either. Show them in a tangible way what it means to care and to give back.
I am allowed to enjoy my blessings but, I must remember that the main reason for which God has blessed me is so I may be a blessing to others.
Christian love puts others above ourselves
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4
"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:16
Stop talking, get up and go.
And by the way today and everyday I am thankful for the greatest blessings of my life.... my nest of little girls. Oh how I love them so.
Do you think I can say the word blessing one more time in this post? I need a thesaurus.
Blessings to you...hehehe.
I have noticed over the past few years that people on Facebook are doing the 30 Days of Thankfulness and naming things they are thankful for each day. What a great idea. However, I want to propose a challenge. Since people are very focused right now on the blessings in life take the time to bless someone else.
Step our of your box, your busy schedule, your everyday routine and take the time to brighten someone's day. Take someone a meal, send a hand written note to let somebody know how special he/she is to you, pay for the persons dinner behind you in the drive thru line, drop by a friend's home with their favorite coffee, volunteer at the food pantry, take care of your neighbor's children for a few hours, donate some clothes to Goodwill, give money to a worthy cause. That's just for starters.
I am just so convicted lately how easy it is to sit back stagnantly in our comfy, privileged lifestyles and tell everyone how blessed and thankful we are. Do we pay it forward? God commands us to.
Actions speak louder than words.
It's so true.
Not such a bad thing to get your kiddos involved in either. Show them in a tangible way what it means to care and to give back.
I am allowed to enjoy my blessings but, I must remember that the main reason for which God has blessed me is so I may be a blessing to others.
Christian love puts others above ourselves
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4
"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:16
Stop talking, get up and go.
And by the way today and everyday I am thankful for the greatest blessings of my life.... my nest of little girls. Oh how I love them so.
Do you think I can say the word blessing one more time in this post? I need a thesaurus.
Blessings to you...hehehe.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Commit to Mitt
It's no secret that my husband and I are die hard republicans. Honestly, some of our closest friends are democrats. Nonetheless, we are trying to teach our children about the importance of voting and politics starting at a young age.
We have had many discussions on an age appropriate level about why we are voting for Mitt Romney. We have explained to our girls that we agree more with his "rules." Ben and I even braved a Romney- Ryan rally in the sweltering Jacksonville heat to give our daughters the experience of a political rally.
My little ladies now notice peoples bumper stickers on cars, yard signs and they recognize both candidates on t.v. in political advertisements.
We even had one of the ministers at our church tell us they saw us at the Romney rally and compliment us on taking our children. I was beginning to get the big head about what fantastic parents we are.
I have explained the election is just around the corner and that very soon we will learn who the winner is.
During lunch yesterday, I overhear Caroline tell Aubrey she is voting for Mitt Romney and Caroline proceeds to ask Aubrey who she is voting for. Aubrey stands up looks straight at me with her hands on her hips and replies indignantly, "Obama."
Wow.
My fourth child, Aubrey, I will describe as independent, strong willed and persistent. No brainwashing going on in this family!
Obummer.
We have had many discussions on an age appropriate level about why we are voting for Mitt Romney. We have explained to our girls that we agree more with his "rules." Ben and I even braved a Romney- Ryan rally in the sweltering Jacksonville heat to give our daughters the experience of a political rally.
My little ladies now notice peoples bumper stickers on cars, yard signs and they recognize both candidates on t.v. in political advertisements.
We even had one of the ministers at our church tell us they saw us at the Romney rally and compliment us on taking our children. I was beginning to get the big head about what fantastic parents we are.
I have explained the election is just around the corner and that very soon we will learn who the winner is.
During lunch yesterday, I overhear Caroline tell Aubrey she is voting for Mitt Romney and Caroline proceeds to ask Aubrey who she is voting for. Aubrey stands up looks straight at me with her hands on her hips and replies indignantly, "Obama."
Wow.
My fourth child, Aubrey, I will describe as independent, strong willed and persistent. No brainwashing going on in this family!
Obummer.
Details
After adopting Anna and Brynn I felt so complete. However, I told a close friend that one thing I regretted is that I would never know what my biological children would look like. She stared at me blankly and replied, "They would look exactly like Anna and Brynn. They look just like you and Ben."
A couple days later Ben and I walked into Cracker Barrel with my twins and the waitress greeted us saying, "Boy you can't deny those girls are your children, could they look anymore like you?" I laughed politely. God was trying to show me something...very tangibly.
He is in the details.
My mother my sisters and I barely have a baby toe nail on our pinky toe at all. We always make fun of our pinky toes. Would you believe that Brynn barely has a baby toe nail either!? It's like God said, "See Shannon trust me. Believe that I am in every detail. No matter how small or how seemingly insignificant." God has illustrated this in my life in very practical ways.
People always tell me that Aubrey and Caroline look exactly like their big sisters. I grin and think,
"Why yes they do." What a miracle that Anna and Brynn were brought into the world thousands of miles away by people we will never know. However, they look just like my biological children. A miracle.
And honestly, even if they didn't look like us it wouldn't matter but I think it's neat.
I know one of the greatest blessings of my life thus far, is how God has knitted my family together. So unconventionally. I stare in amazement almost daily at how everything has turned out. I have to smile when I think about having four daughters.
I am grateful when I see my daughters interact and know that they are sisters for life. That God ordained their sisterhood before they were even conceived.
So although you may be facing other trials other than infertility or adoption, trust and know that God is in the details. Don't forget, the details include timing. That's a tough one huh?! God is never early, never late, always on time. Honestly, God has not once been on the same time frame as me! I think I am going to stop praying for patience...
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
A couple days later Ben and I walked into Cracker Barrel with my twins and the waitress greeted us saying, "Boy you can't deny those girls are your children, could they look anymore like you?" I laughed politely. God was trying to show me something...very tangibly.
He is in the details.
My mother my sisters and I barely have a baby toe nail on our pinky toe at all. We always make fun of our pinky toes. Would you believe that Brynn barely has a baby toe nail either!? It's like God said, "See Shannon trust me. Believe that I am in every detail. No matter how small or how seemingly insignificant." God has illustrated this in my life in very practical ways.
People always tell me that Aubrey and Caroline look exactly like their big sisters. I grin and think,
"Why yes they do." What a miracle that Anna and Brynn were brought into the world thousands of miles away by people we will never know. However, they look just like my biological children. A miracle.
And honestly, even if they didn't look like us it wouldn't matter but I think it's neat.
I know one of the greatest blessings of my life thus far, is how God has knitted my family together. So unconventionally. I stare in amazement almost daily at how everything has turned out. I have to smile when I think about having four daughters.
I am grateful when I see my daughters interact and know that they are sisters for life. That God ordained their sisterhood before they were even conceived.
So although you may be facing other trials other than infertility or adoption, trust and know that God is in the details. Don't forget, the details include timing. That's a tough one huh?! God is never early, never late, always on time. Honestly, God has not once been on the same time frame as me! I think I am going to stop praying for patience...
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
Thursday, October 25, 2012
H-O-T M-E-S-S
I've been a hot mess lately. Truly a H-O-T M-E-S-S. I am stressed out, tired, grumpy, moody, disappointed. Are you hooked to read more or shall I continue? Yes, welcome to my pity party--dress is casual.
Yesterday I had two glasses of wine and took a Tylenol PM and went to bed at 8pm.
I usually pride myself on being able to pull myself up by my boot straps and thank God for my blessings and get on with my life. Not lately. And maybe that's why I haven't blogged. Because I have not been able to practice what I preach. I know better. My head has the knowledge but my attitude and heart just aren't following along.
It annoys me that my kids don't really care about school and they don't really care about getting a good grade on a test.. I care. I have come to the conclusion that I care too much and I have to stop. They are not responsible. Anna and Brynn wouldn't even have their heads on straight if they weren't attached to their bodies. When does it click that they need to be responsible for themselves and their school work?
Aubrey fights me on absolutely everything I ask her to do in a day. She is mentally and physically exhausting and I think I may take her back to Baptist South Hospital and tell them I want a redo. Just kidding-- kind of.... please don't turn me into child protective services. Aubrey dumped a bag of Cheez Its on the floor in my kitchen yesterday. I very nicely asked her to come and pick them up. She promptly replied, "No." (of course she did) and proceeded to stomp on them so they were smashed all over the floor. I literally felt my face turning red. But honestly, more than mad I felt defeated. I have raised my children all similarly. Why has this one seemed to turn out so differently? My sweet neighbor Kara tried to reassure me that all kids have different personalities and that she just may be different than my other 3. Maybe. But she is killing me. I have gray hair Stop it. Seriously.
The incessant amounts of paper and treasures and shoes and crayons that are constantly strewn all over my floor are annoying me to no end. I even started fuming when I vacuumed the other day because I thought to myself, "There has to be more to life than this.." I am over feeling like I am in the movie Groundhog Day. Same thing over and over...different day. Cook, clean, laundry, childcare. Cook, clean, laundry, childcare.
My children always have 5 reasons why they can't do what I ask of them and even when they finally grant my request they do it with an attitude and not joyfully. I am over it.
I know people have real problems in life like sick kids and lost jobs and failed marriages. I want to shake myself but I can't. So I apologize. Just having a bad couple of weeks.
If you clicked on my blog to be encouraged forgive me. Be encouraged that there are other mothers just like you, doing the same stuff and having the same feelings. Feelings that most mothers won't admit to because it makes them feel guilty and they feel people will think they are a bad parent.
I am being real.
One of my closest friends sent me this verse yesterday. A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out. Isaiah 42:3
People today I am on my knees clinging to God's word!
On a happier note. Sarah's wedding was beautiful and sentimental and everything wonderful I hoped it would be. My baby sis was the most gorgeous bride. And my munchkins did their duties with no problems.
My sister Stacy gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Caleb Tyler, who I am totally in love with. I am even more thankful this week, that I can spoil him and hand him back to his very capable parents. This girl is old and tired.
Finally, tomorrow I am going with my favorite girls to the Zac Brown Band concert. Hopefully, my cowboy boots, little black dress, some friendship and great music will help get me out of my funk.
Pity party is over. Thanks for coming and be careful on your way home.
Found this little note from Brynn. Mama said it was my little gift from above. I concur.
Yesterday I had two glasses of wine and took a Tylenol PM and went to bed at 8pm.
I usually pride myself on being able to pull myself up by my boot straps and thank God for my blessings and get on with my life. Not lately. And maybe that's why I haven't blogged. Because I have not been able to practice what I preach. I know better. My head has the knowledge but my attitude and heart just aren't following along.
It annoys me that my kids don't really care about school and they don't really care about getting a good grade on a test.. I care. I have come to the conclusion that I care too much and I have to stop. They are not responsible. Anna and Brynn wouldn't even have their heads on straight if they weren't attached to their bodies. When does it click that they need to be responsible for themselves and their school work?
Aubrey fights me on absolutely everything I ask her to do in a day. She is mentally and physically exhausting and I think I may take her back to Baptist South Hospital and tell them I want a redo. Just kidding-- kind of.... please don't turn me into child protective services. Aubrey dumped a bag of Cheez Its on the floor in my kitchen yesterday. I very nicely asked her to come and pick them up. She promptly replied, "No." (of course she did) and proceeded to stomp on them so they were smashed all over the floor. I literally felt my face turning red. But honestly, more than mad I felt defeated. I have raised my children all similarly. Why has this one seemed to turn out so differently? My sweet neighbor Kara tried to reassure me that all kids have different personalities and that she just may be different than my other 3. Maybe. But she is killing me. I have gray hair Stop it. Seriously.
The incessant amounts of paper and treasures and shoes and crayons that are constantly strewn all over my floor are annoying me to no end. I even started fuming when I vacuumed the other day because I thought to myself, "There has to be more to life than this.." I am over feeling like I am in the movie Groundhog Day. Same thing over and over...different day. Cook, clean, laundry, childcare. Cook, clean, laundry, childcare.
My children always have 5 reasons why they can't do what I ask of them and even when they finally grant my request they do it with an attitude and not joyfully. I am over it.
I know people have real problems in life like sick kids and lost jobs and failed marriages. I want to shake myself but I can't. So I apologize. Just having a bad couple of weeks.
If you clicked on my blog to be encouraged forgive me. Be encouraged that there are other mothers just like you, doing the same stuff and having the same feelings. Feelings that most mothers won't admit to because it makes them feel guilty and they feel people will think they are a bad parent.
I am being real.
One of my closest friends sent me this verse yesterday. A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out. Isaiah 42:3
People today I am on my knees clinging to God's word!
On a happier note. Sarah's wedding was beautiful and sentimental and everything wonderful I hoped it would be. My baby sis was the most gorgeous bride. And my munchkins did their duties with no problems.
My sister Stacy gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Caleb Tyler, who I am totally in love with. I am even more thankful this week, that I can spoil him and hand him back to his very capable parents. This girl is old and tired.
Finally, tomorrow I am going with my favorite girls to the Zac Brown Band concert. Hopefully, my cowboy boots, little black dress, some friendship and great music will help get me out of my funk.
Pity party is over. Thanks for coming and be careful on your way home.
Found this little note from Brynn. Mama said it was my little gift from above. I concur.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Weddingness
It's wedding time. We are gearing up for my baby sisters wedding on October 6th. Maybe I have been more in tune to all the planning, expenses and details because honestly, I am scared to death. I have four daughters. I listen to my mother and I think to myself, "This is going to be me one day." Take note.
The wedding festivities begin next week in Kentucky. My girls have all their shoes and dresses ready to go. I have my bridesmaid dress and have been reviewing up dos. Mama has been working diligently on last minute details. It's all so exciting. Let's hope my girlies perform their flower girl and junior bridesmaid duties with grace and charm. Let's hope. I'm not promising.
Sarah, my baby sister, the bride, is eleven years younger than me. I remember everything about her life from the time she was born. I recall the first time I held her, how she followed me around as a toddler and saying good bye to her as she and my family left me at college my freshman year. At times I was more like a mother to her rather than a sister because I was so much older. We are super close and I am proud of the intelligent (Did I mention she just got in physician's assistant school?), sweet, God fearing young woman she has become. We are thrilled with her choice for a life mate.
I can't help but remember a trip Sarah took to stay with me a couple years ago. She had just broken up with her long time boyfriend and she was heartbroken. We spent the week talking about life and faith, drinking sweet tea, shopping and discussing God's plan and how HE always works things out. He see the big picture we don't. I fully expected her to tell me to shut up during some of our conversations because, let's face it, sometimes it's just not what you want to hear in times of brokenheartedness. But she took everything in stride and came through with grace. It was one of the most special 10 days we have ever spent with each other just doing everyday life and having deep, meaningful conversations.
Shortly after returning home, Sarah met Cory and the rest is history.
So as her wedding approaches, I can't help but thank God for Sarah and Cory and the heart they share for the Lord. I anticipate with joy, the life they will have together. Bless his heart he is about to enter quite a family;) Welcome aboard buddy!
I would like to offer a disclaimer to anyone who will be at the wedding. I am a crier. I'm not talking about the dab your eyes with a tissue crier, I mean a blow your nose, ugly face crier. I get emotional watching my daughters walk down the aisle as flower girls and junior bridesmaids and seeing my sister marry her prince charming. God's blessings so perfectly on display right in front of my eyes. So, I apologize in advance. I can't help it.
I will take lots of pics of my girls and my nieces in their floofy (is that a word?) dresses. Let's face it they would look good in a gunny sack. And let's pray that my sister Stacy, doesn't have baby number 3 until after the ceremony.
During my wedding and my sister's wedding we have always claimed the saying, "No matter what happens today we will not let anyone steal our joy." It helps keep our priorities in check and maintain perspective. I am claiming it now. No Bridezillas in this fam.
The Crew before Stacy's wedding...
Let the celebration begin! It's wedding time!
The wedding festivities begin next week in Kentucky. My girls have all their shoes and dresses ready to go. I have my bridesmaid dress and have been reviewing up dos. Mama has been working diligently on last minute details. It's all so exciting. Let's hope my girlies perform their flower girl and junior bridesmaid duties with grace and charm. Let's hope. I'm not promising.
Sarah, my baby sister, the bride, is eleven years younger than me. I remember everything about her life from the time she was born. I recall the first time I held her, how she followed me around as a toddler and saying good bye to her as she and my family left me at college my freshman year. At times I was more like a mother to her rather than a sister because I was so much older. We are super close and I am proud of the intelligent (Did I mention she just got in physician's assistant school?), sweet, God fearing young woman she has become. We are thrilled with her choice for a life mate.
I can't help but remember a trip Sarah took to stay with me a couple years ago. She had just broken up with her long time boyfriend and she was heartbroken. We spent the week talking about life and faith, drinking sweet tea, shopping and discussing God's plan and how HE always works things out. He see the big picture we don't. I fully expected her to tell me to shut up during some of our conversations because, let's face it, sometimes it's just not what you want to hear in times of brokenheartedness. But she took everything in stride and came through with grace. It was one of the most special 10 days we have ever spent with each other just doing everyday life and having deep, meaningful conversations.
Shortly after returning home, Sarah met Cory and the rest is history.
So as her wedding approaches, I can't help but thank God for Sarah and Cory and the heart they share for the Lord. I anticipate with joy, the life they will have together. Bless his heart he is about to enter quite a family;) Welcome aboard buddy!
I would like to offer a disclaimer to anyone who will be at the wedding. I am a crier. I'm not talking about the dab your eyes with a tissue crier, I mean a blow your nose, ugly face crier. I get emotional watching my daughters walk down the aisle as flower girls and junior bridesmaids and seeing my sister marry her prince charming. God's blessings so perfectly on display right in front of my eyes. So, I apologize in advance. I can't help it.
I will take lots of pics of my girls and my nieces in their floofy (is that a word?) dresses. Let's face it they would look good in a gunny sack. And let's pray that my sister Stacy, doesn't have baby number 3 until after the ceremony.
During my wedding and my sister's wedding we have always claimed the saying, "No matter what happens today we will not let anyone steal our joy." It helps keep our priorities in check and maintain perspective. I am claiming it now. No Bridezillas in this fam.
The Crew before Stacy's wedding...
Let the celebration begin! It's wedding time!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
My Messy House
Happy fall y'all. I have all my pumpkins out, my fall wreath on the door and the autumn harvest candle burning on my counter. Yes, I know it is still 86 degrees. I don't care. I am pretending. Don't ruin it for me.
Sorry I have been missing in action. Between running all the kids to school, sports and regular wifely duties it seems sometimes I don't have a minute to do anything else and when I do I am way too tired to write. But I do miss it. It's my therapy.
I have been doing a Bible study on the book of James. If you want a book to kick your butt read James. Who knew this little book has so much to say? You want to learn about trials, wisdom, controlling your tongue, being judgemental, worldly desires, faith vs.works and I could go on but you get the point...read James. I have been doing the Beth Moore study and as my sister says, "Beth Moore can find insight in a ketchup packet", but it is true . I don't regret carving the time out of my busy life it has truly blessed me. Although, honestly 2 months ago I could have given you 20 reasons why there was no possible way I could fit a Bible study in my schedule. But I did and I am glad.
Through the study I have met some really sweet girls. We were all discussing something I thought I would share with you today. We were discussing how whenever anyone calls and says that they are coming over we run around like mad women and wipe, and pick up and shove things in closets because we really don't want people to know how we "really" live. I about died laughing because this is me. Guilty. I so do it. Actually, everyone at my table admitted they do the same thing. We are always trying to hide reality. Reality would probably make us more approachable. When my neighbor pops over, if my house is a wreck she would most likely think, "Great, I am not the only one." How often do I not invite someone over or inside because of my messy house. More often than I would like to admit. It really doesn't matter. My house was given to me by God and I need to use it for fellowship and His glory. Mess or not. So the next time you come over you may trip over a toy or two or thrity (for the sake of honesty), there may be pee on the toilet seat and you will definitely see dishes in the sink. Don't judge. I am working on being real. Turning over a new leaf;)
The main reasons my house is always a mess...
Cute aren't they?
For our Faith to be real it must show in our lives. If our faith is not evident we really don't believe. Whoa. Girlfriend, that is a big one. As my mentor always says, "I'm still chewing on it." So Lord, I pray you put people in my path that need a gentle touch and that I will not turn them away because I am prideful and have a messy house...
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other. – John 15:16-17
I want to share a praise with you. My sweet Anna who started at a new school this year brought home her interim report card last week. Drum roll please... straight A's. My jaw hit the floor and I might have shed a few tears of joy..I said might. The girl is taking off. Flourishing I tell ya. I am so relieved and happy and proud. I give God all the Glory and I pat myself on the back for listening to my inner mommy.
Happy hump day everyone!
Sorry I have been missing in action. Between running all the kids to school, sports and regular wifely duties it seems sometimes I don't have a minute to do anything else and when I do I am way too tired to write. But I do miss it. It's my therapy.
I have been doing a Bible study on the book of James. If you want a book to kick your butt read James. Who knew this little book has so much to say? You want to learn about trials, wisdom, controlling your tongue, being judgemental, worldly desires, faith vs.works and I could go on but you get the point...read James. I have been doing the Beth Moore study and as my sister says, "Beth Moore can find insight in a ketchup packet", but it is true . I don't regret carving the time out of my busy life it has truly blessed me. Although, honestly 2 months ago I could have given you 20 reasons why there was no possible way I could fit a Bible study in my schedule. But I did and I am glad.
Through the study I have met some really sweet girls. We were all discussing something I thought I would share with you today. We were discussing how whenever anyone calls and says that they are coming over we run around like mad women and wipe, and pick up and shove things in closets because we really don't want people to know how we "really" live. I about died laughing because this is me. Guilty. I so do it. Actually, everyone at my table admitted they do the same thing. We are always trying to hide reality. Reality would probably make us more approachable. When my neighbor pops over, if my house is a wreck she would most likely think, "Great, I am not the only one." How often do I not invite someone over or inside because of my messy house. More often than I would like to admit. It really doesn't matter. My house was given to me by God and I need to use it for fellowship and His glory. Mess or not. So the next time you come over you may trip over a toy or two or thrity (for the sake of honesty), there may be pee on the toilet seat and you will definitely see dishes in the sink. Don't judge. I am working on being real. Turning over a new leaf;)
The main reasons my house is always a mess...
Cute aren't they?
For our Faith to be real it must show in our lives. If our faith is not evident we really don't believe. Whoa. Girlfriend, that is a big one. As my mentor always says, "I'm still chewing on it." So Lord, I pray you put people in my path that need a gentle touch and that I will not turn them away because I am prideful and have a messy house...
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other. – John 15:16-17
I want to share a praise with you. My sweet Anna who started at a new school this year brought home her interim report card last week. Drum roll please... straight A's. My jaw hit the floor and I might have shed a few tears of joy..I said might. The girl is taking off. Flourishing I tell ya. I am so relieved and happy and proud. I give God all the Glory and I pat myself on the back for listening to my inner mommy.
Happy hump day everyone!
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Twinkle Toes
Yes. Today my heart is smiling. Although, that really isn't possible is it? You know one of those days that something just makes you feel so blessed and happy you can't wipe the grin off your face.
I know you probably think I won the lottery or something but no. It's my little twinkle toes. Aubrey and Caroline. They love ballet so much and I love to watch them even more. Aubrey asks me everyday if it's ballet day. She gets so excited.
My two older girls have always been tomboys. They would rather die than put on a tutu and twirl around the floor. I have embraced their love of soccer and as a matter of fact they are pretty good. I love being a soccer mom. But I have to admit, last year when Caroline asked me if she could take ballet I couldn't get to the studio fast enough to sign her up. Faithfully, once a week, Aubrey would go with me to take Caroline to ballet. She would stand on the bench on her tip toes just beneath the viewing window, her eyes glued, to watch Caroline dance. I would always say, (something Aubrey hears alot) "Next year, when you are older, you can go too."
Unfortunately in January Caroline became very ill and was not allowed to participate in group activities so we had to quit dance. Much to her dismay and mine.
When this August rolled around I announced I was ready to go and sign Aubrey and Caroline up for dance and Caroline dropped a bombshell on me. "Mama I don't want to do ballet. I want to play soccer like Anna and Brynn." "Ok." I choked back my disappointment. Just call me Mrs. Supportive although I didn't really want to be.
Luckily, at Aubrey's first dance class this year Caroline had to go in with her for moral support and she changed her mind. It didn't take long or any convincing on my part and now they are both in the same ballet class.
Needless to say, I could spend hours watching my two littles gracefully (okay maybe a slight exaggeration) put their hands over their heads and walk on their tip toes across the floor. I can't get enough when they both turn around and wave at me through the window just to make sure I am watching. I always give a thumbs up or the occasional pay attention to your teacher sign.
I truly love it. And oh the innocence of young girls in frilly, pink tutus, who still believe that when they grow up they can be a ballerina. The world is their oyster.
I want to etch these special moments in my brain so I will always remember them.
So yep, I will say it again, it's the little things. The little things that make my heart smile, like my twinkle toes....
I know you probably think I won the lottery or something but no. It's my little twinkle toes. Aubrey and Caroline. They love ballet so much and I love to watch them even more. Aubrey asks me everyday if it's ballet day. She gets so excited.
My two older girls have always been tomboys. They would rather die than put on a tutu and twirl around the floor. I have embraced their love of soccer and as a matter of fact they are pretty good. I love being a soccer mom. But I have to admit, last year when Caroline asked me if she could take ballet I couldn't get to the studio fast enough to sign her up. Faithfully, once a week, Aubrey would go with me to take Caroline to ballet. She would stand on the bench on her tip toes just beneath the viewing window, her eyes glued, to watch Caroline dance. I would always say, (something Aubrey hears alot) "Next year, when you are older, you can go too."
Unfortunately in January Caroline became very ill and was not allowed to participate in group activities so we had to quit dance. Much to her dismay and mine.
When this August rolled around I announced I was ready to go and sign Aubrey and Caroline up for dance and Caroline dropped a bombshell on me. "Mama I don't want to do ballet. I want to play soccer like Anna and Brynn." "Ok." I choked back my disappointment. Just call me Mrs. Supportive although I didn't really want to be.
Luckily, at Aubrey's first dance class this year Caroline had to go in with her for moral support and she changed her mind. It didn't take long or any convincing on my part and now they are both in the same ballet class.
Needless to say, I could spend hours watching my two littles gracefully (okay maybe a slight exaggeration) put their hands over their heads and walk on their tip toes across the floor. I can't get enough when they both turn around and wave at me through the window just to make sure I am watching. I always give a thumbs up or the occasional pay attention to your teacher sign.
I truly love it. And oh the innocence of young girls in frilly, pink tutus, who still believe that when they grow up they can be a ballerina. The world is their oyster.
I want to etch these special moments in my brain so I will always remember them.
So yep, I will say it again, it's the little things. The little things that make my heart smile, like my twinkle toes....
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Big Yet Small
I think I am mourning a little bit. I feel sad. My kids are getting older. I can't even count the times this week that one of them has done something or said something and I have thought to myself, "Gee, she seems so grown up."
I got out of the shower this evening and Aubrey and Caroline were waiting for me, ready to execute the post bath routine. All by themselves. They dried me off, brushed my hair and helped me pick out my jammies. Just like I have done for them countless times before. I have had many deep conversations this week with Aubrey. I am enjoying our one on one time. She is using words like might and privilege. Caroline goes to school three days a week and never cries when I leave. In her classroom she unpacks her book bag and puts her snack on the shelf. So different from last year when the teachers would peel her off my leg every morning. Today Caroline asked me if she could eat her cereal out of a glass bowl. Gulp. As much as I have longed for these days during the hard times, now that they are here I honestly haven't quite figured out how I feel about them.
Anna and Brynn can totally unload the dishwasher and learn their spelling words without help. They get up in the morning and pick out their own clothes and get dressed. This morning Anna poured cereal and milk (without spilling it) in bowls for all her sisters. They read chapter books before bed instead of thumbing through picture books. That's big girl stuff. They are having their first sleep over this Friday night. (Prayers appreciated) I am already brainstorming how I can make my house the most fun house on the block so this is where my girls and their friends want to congregate.
This week we verbally promised our toddler beds to our neighbors. I just sat in the babies room last night staring at their nursery and the beds, picturing big girl beds in their place. I gazed at the toddler beds that all my girls have slept in. My mom told me when it was time to move Anna and Brynn out of them that, "Keeping them in toddler beds won't keep them little." She's right. I guess it's the same for Aubrey and Caroline. Nonetheless, I have a pit in my stomach.
As I was pondering how big they are I also thought of how small they still seem. They will always be my babies. They still need their boo boos kissed and they like to sit on my lap and tell me about their day. Aubrey still loves to be wrapped in her blankie and rocked. Caroline still needs me to brush her teeth for her and scratch her back before bedtime. They all still bust a move oblivious to present company, no matter where we are when their favorite song comes on the radio. (Although, I have adult friends who do this as well...who will remain nameless...ahem...Tempa) Anna never seemed littler than when I left her at a new school this year. Brynn still dresses up everyday in some costume and plays make believe. And they all still go crazy over bubbles.
I know we raise our children to be independent and to have confidence and spread their wings but when they do it stings a little. Do they still need me? The answer is yes. They will always need me just in different ways and that's okay.
I have had a house full of little ones for a while now and this is new territory for me. I have been a breastfeeding, diaper changing, care taking fool for the past few years. I am reevaluating my role. It is bitter sweet.
Brynn told me something we were talking about today, "Was so last year." Oh if only she was 2 again.
My advice to you...cherish each day as a gift, don't wish away stages even when it's hard. Make your motto, "No regrets."
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. Proverbs 22:6
I got out of the shower this evening and Aubrey and Caroline were waiting for me, ready to execute the post bath routine. All by themselves. They dried me off, brushed my hair and helped me pick out my jammies. Just like I have done for them countless times before. I have had many deep conversations this week with Aubrey. I am enjoying our one on one time. She is using words like might and privilege. Caroline goes to school three days a week and never cries when I leave. In her classroom she unpacks her book bag and puts her snack on the shelf. So different from last year when the teachers would peel her off my leg every morning. Today Caroline asked me if she could eat her cereal out of a glass bowl. Gulp. As much as I have longed for these days during the hard times, now that they are here I honestly haven't quite figured out how I feel about them.
Anna and Brynn can totally unload the dishwasher and learn their spelling words without help. They get up in the morning and pick out their own clothes and get dressed. This morning Anna poured cereal and milk (without spilling it) in bowls for all her sisters. They read chapter books before bed instead of thumbing through picture books. That's big girl stuff. They are having their first sleep over this Friday night. (Prayers appreciated) I am already brainstorming how I can make my house the most fun house on the block so this is where my girls and their friends want to congregate.
This week we verbally promised our toddler beds to our neighbors. I just sat in the babies room last night staring at their nursery and the beds, picturing big girl beds in their place. I gazed at the toddler beds that all my girls have slept in. My mom told me when it was time to move Anna and Brynn out of them that, "Keeping them in toddler beds won't keep them little." She's right. I guess it's the same for Aubrey and Caroline. Nonetheless, I have a pit in my stomach.
As I was pondering how big they are I also thought of how small they still seem. They will always be my babies. They still need their boo boos kissed and they like to sit on my lap and tell me about their day. Aubrey still loves to be wrapped in her blankie and rocked. Caroline still needs me to brush her teeth for her and scratch her back before bedtime. They all still bust a move oblivious to present company, no matter where we are when their favorite song comes on the radio. (Although, I have adult friends who do this as well...who will remain nameless...ahem...Tempa) Anna never seemed littler than when I left her at a new school this year. Brynn still dresses up everyday in some costume and plays make believe. And they all still go crazy over bubbles.
I know we raise our children to be independent and to have confidence and spread their wings but when they do it stings a little. Do they still need me? The answer is yes. They will always need me just in different ways and that's okay.
I have had a house full of little ones for a while now and this is new territory for me. I have been a breastfeeding, diaper changing, care taking fool for the past few years. I am reevaluating my role. It is bitter sweet.
Brynn told me something we were talking about today, "Was so last year." Oh if only she was 2 again.
My advice to you...cherish each day as a gift, don't wish away stages even when it's hard. Make your motto, "No regrets."
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. Proverbs 22:6
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