I was a believer. I was kind. But I was passively seeking Jesus. That single trial in my life rocked me to the core. It changed who I am through and through. I am thankful for walking in the fiery furnace. I will never be the same. I know, that Jesus changed me, so that I can impact others. We aren't guaranteed time.
Interestingly enough, (Ok, God, I hear you.) My devotion this morning was the difference between speaking and doing. John Piper says, "But let us never treat mouth-deed or the hand-deed with neglect, or preference. Many fail as lovers of Christ by thinking they can replace words with deeds. and many fail, thinking words are enough. Rather, let us think both! Both word and work! Mouth-work and hand-work. Both!"
He also states, "When the tongue and it's sounds (words) are "in truth" they become acts of love. The line of lovelessness is not drawn between speaking and doing, but between speaking and doing in the truth and speaking and doing in emptiness. Truth turns word-love into deed-love. Bam! Profound isn't it.
That was me, three years ago.
Whatever you do, in word and deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus. Colossians 3:17
Boy, did I see people live out this verse when my baby was dying. Jesus showed me tangibly.
After the whole ordeal, I remember talking to one of my friends on the phone, we were reliving the gut wrenching events of the past two weeks. She said, "You have a story to tell. A testimony. You need to tell it." I do get to share my story often. But hopefully, my life, after this incident, tells about the love and glory of our Heavenly father.
Last night, I sat and read every post from Caroline's Caring Bridge website. Hot tears flowing down my cheeks. I reread every update, every piece of bad news we received and every praise. I looked at all the comments from people near and far, the prayers and encouragement. I hung onto every word in every Bible verse that my sister, Stacy typed. I believe them to be divinely inspired.
Dare, I say, my daughter almost dying was the best thing to ever happen to me. It was.
I will not venture to speak of anything except what Christ has accomplished through me to bring the Gentiles to obedience- by word and deed. Romans 15:18
I chuckled last night when I read Caroline was kicking a soccer ball for physical therapy to regain strength after being on a ventilator. She is now tearing up the soccer field, her mouth runs 100 miles a minute and she loves to tell you all about her "fashion." She is a vibrant, healthy and delightful 6 year old. She adores her cousins and is tearing up kindergarten.
Thank you for caring. Thank you for praying. It's hard for me to imagine life without her in it.
I am thankful God spared her life. I am thankful for the trial. I am thankful for what I have learned. I am thankful for more time on this earth to proclaim the name of Jesus Christ.
Are you better after your trial or bitter? What does the God want you to understand?
