Enough.

Thanksgiving break. Lovely Friday morning. Lying in bed later than usual. Cozy warm covers envelop my body. My pup sleeps soundly on his back, paws in the air, tucked closely by my side. The gentle sound of his breathing is all I hear.  Sun shining through the window, illuminating the red, shiny bulbs on the Christmas tree outside my bedroom door. Empty space in the bed next to me. Thankfulness washes over me with thoughts of my hardworking husband, who arose before the sun and trudged to work, to support his crazy, gaggle of girls. I have no words to describe my beloved's work ethic.  It is greater than any human I have ever encountered.  Something I greatly admire about him.

Breakfast is Dunkin Donuts.  I mean, c'mon, don't we need to add some more fabulous food to the past few days.  Aubs and I hop in the mini van in our jammies, our hair in knots on the top of our heads, to retrieve the delicious goods.  Charlie, our pup, accompanies, head hanging out the window, eyes half open, ears flapping in the wind. Blueberry, chocolate glazed and cream filled donuts make my girlies smile and their eyes light up like the early morning sun lights up the earth. Fun to wake up to those expressions.

We sit at our familiar breakfast table discussing God, the difference between our feelings and emotions and choosing joy.  I explain, we can always choose joy despite our feeling because of who God is.  Sweet discussion with squirmy, chocolate faced little girls soaking up God's truth like a sponge. Fruit of the spirit.  We each take a turn reciting the list. Love, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self Control (Galatians 5:22-23) The girls get hung up on remembering goodness and faithfulness.  We go around the table inserting each child's name before the trait. Aubrey is loving, Anna is peaceful, Caroline is patient, Brynn is Kind.  We can use this everyday to check our attitude and temperament.  In desiring to be like Christ, we should exhibit these traits.

Not to mislead you about the way our devotion time looks. A girl trying to write Ben loves Shannon on the inside of my Bible. A girl falling into the floor, off the bench. The littlest feeding the dog sugary goodness and one girl staring at the table top, tracing the lines with the tip of her finger. But His truth permeates like warm soup filling our bodies on a cold day.

I toss out a final thought of conversing with God throughout our day. No matter what is going on.

We leave the table to start our daily chores, dishwasher to unload, beds to make, a dog to feed.  A little music makes work so much better.  I press play on Pandora on our television and the sounds of Kids Bop blare over our speakers. I love kids Bop!  All of the latest tunes without any of the bad stuff. The song "Happy" immediately makes hips sway, girls jump and slide across the hardwood floor.  Mama smiles. Perfect.

And He is before all things, and in him all things hold together Colossians 1:17

I am grateful for this day. Trenches have plagued.  Without trenches would we recognize mountain top experiences? Often time mountain top experiences are everyday scenarios, if we have the right perspective.  Would we have the chance to choose joy?  God holds all things together.  It is because of HIM that I sit here listening to "Gangham Style" and "What Does the Fox Say" watching littles twirl across my floor.

"All about that Bass," is now blaring.  Very fitting considering our eating regimen this week. Aubs is standing next to me shaking her bass or lack there off.

I digress.

The Thanksgiving story that will not leave my consciousness, is the story of the loaves and the fishes. You remember.  All too familiar. Christ feeds the 5000.  And how does He do that?  A little boy brings all that he has, as small as it may seem, He is willing.  Five loaves and two fishes to feed 5000 people? The boy offers what he has to Christ, Christ takes it,  He looks to Heaven, gives thanks and breaks the bread.

They said they only had five loaves of bread and two fish then Jesus asked them to bring what they had to him. Jesus directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves.

When we take what we have, give thanks for it and offer it to Christ, HE MAKES IT ENOUGH.

This story is recorded in all four Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

We need to give thanks and offer up. Not only on Thanksgiving, but everyday. We give thanks to God not because of how we feel – but because of Who He is.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed; 2 Corinthians 9:8

Glory to God for holding us together. It is enough.  I give thanks.

All is grace.

 

 

 

 

 

Big vs.Small and Frozen

Wow.  This feels strange.  I haven't written on here in quite some time.  Honestly, I haven't felt led to blog, lately, until today. I wanted to take a break and really examine my motives for blogging.  I never want it to be about accolades or affirmation, only to share God's truth and what He is teaching me. Hopefully, it may help someone else. And okay, maybe to journal a little family hilarity along the way. My girls do and say some pretty funny stuff!

Here I am again, and it feels right.   I sit, with a clean kitchen, slumbering kiddos, listening to the clicking of the keys, as my mind rushes. Charlie, my pup, reclining on the ottoman beside me. So  much to share. So thankful to God for His infinite wisdom. I can hardly type fast enough.  Some things have been whirling around in my head lately, and y'all know me...I have to write about it.

On Sunday, I gained confirmation by listening to my teacher that what I have been pondering and feeling is truth and needs to be postulated.  My teacher's voice eerily, echoed the precise culmination of my thoughts and feelings. Introspectively, my reflections passionately weighed on my mind and heart. I could barely sit in my seat. I wanted to jump up and scream "yes!"

Simply stated, things that seem small to us are BIG to God. We are walking by all the "small," seemingly insignificant ways to serve in our daily lives, in search of something bigger.  In our minds, something larger, a bigger ministry which must be more important to God. Right? Nope.We aren't being obedient in the little, everyday matters that God wants to use, to impact this world.

A question, Do we allow God to interrupt our daily life, for His purposes?

We already have it figured out. We're ready to check off our to do list.  We all hop out of bed with an agenda, things we need to accomplish, places to be, houses to clean, kids to transport.  How often, are we not open or obedient to God's agenda for our day...for our lives? Stacy and I always say, if Satan can't make us sin, he'll make us really busy.  Too busy to take a meal, write and encouraging note or even easier, a text.  Too busy to pick up a friend's child from school, to call someone while you are at the store and ask if they need anything. Too busy to pray for someone, to tell somebody you care and that you love them. Too busy to cut a neighbor's grass or babysit. Just for starters...

I used this analogy to explain these thoughts to my girls.  I can still picture their cheerful faces hanging on every word I said. All of them sitting side by side on the fluffy, pink bedspread. Here goes--- God loves us so much, that he cannot wait for us to awake in the morning.(picture the perplexed glances of four little girls) Do we choose to open our eyes and acknowledge God and give Him thanks for the gift of a new day a new opportunity? Do we pray about the people who will cross our path?  Do we spend time in His word?  Do we ask God to make it clear that if  His plans are different from ours, to interrupt our humanness. Are we open to being called to obedience in Christ's leading and purposes?

#preachingtomyself

It's like the scene from the movie Frozen, Anna is standing outside the door waiting for her sister, Elsa, to acknowledge her. Anna loves her so much, she can hardly wait for her sister to open the door and notice her, but she doesn't. I often wonder what God thinks when we  jump out of our beds and start our daily routines, often with no acknowledgement of Him at all.

 Guilty here.

His purposes for our day are to show God's love to everyone we come in contact with, through caring and serving others.  And don't misunderstand me, I am not referring to taking on another obligation at church, that we probably won't fulfill anyway.  Not just works, but love. Loving people.  (Even prickly people) We must not forget this life isn't about us. Now, when I ask my girls if they took time to acknowledge God first thing, they know what I am talking about. I whisper, God waits eagerly for you to open your eyes. He loves you so!

Sorry for the Frozen analogy, but I do have four girls.  We have watched the movie at least one hundred times. I happen to have had an Elsa walking around this Halloween.  I know you're shocked. I will spare you my rendition of Let it Go, but Aubrey's performance is amazing,  Hands on hips and all.

My Elsa even wore pink cowgirl boots. I apologize for the tangent. Aubrey tends to sidetrack me.

Please, please, stick your heart out there.  Be vulnerable. Be in tune to the people around you, in your everyday life.  How is God calling you to minister to them? Sometimes it may not be fun or easy, but it's worth it. People, we are missing the small opportunities because we are too busy looking for the bigger ones.  Be obedient in everyday life. Be obedient in the small things. Do life with people. You will make an eternal difference for the Kingdom of God.

We, need to stop placing God as an afterthought.  He should consume everything we do. Our thoughts. Our speech.  Our actions. First.

We are only here for a little while.  Let's not set up shop. Things that seem so important on our lists, really don't matter that much. May we make our lives about Christ, His Glory and His Purpose.  Do we even have a clue where to start?  Have we asked Him?

Not to scare you, but my sister and I joke. Sometimes, we ask to be God's instruments and so much falls in our lap we have to stop and send each other a text that says, "We must really love Jesus!" with 100 emoji's after it. But honestly, if you put the purposes of God first, the rest will get done, miraculously. Try it and see. The peace and joy you will experience from walking in obedience, will blow your mind.  Don't forget to look for His provisions throughout your day and thank Him for them. I guarantee you will see when you are obedient, His provisions are all around.  Like, the spaghetti sauce I forgot I had, and  need for the meal I am taking someone, tomorrow.  No trip to the store, with the kids in tow. Score! Thank you, Jesus.

Small may really be big.

O LORD, You are my God; I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name; For You have worked wonders, Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness. Isaiah 25:1

The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Opportunity knocked. My doorman threw him out.  Adrienne Gisoff 

Sheesh.  This was a long one.  Hope I didn't lose you.  My parents were just here and we had the most incredible visit.  My girls are blessed with such a fun family...

Truth Chasing Me Down...

Have you ever had a Bible verse or truth literally chase you down?  This one has been chasing me.  I walked into Kirkland's home store and this picture sat right in front of me on display.  I bought it and hung it in my house where we will all see it frequently.

The fruit of the Spirit.  It's a popular verse that many people are familiar with.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.  Galatians 5:22-23

I want to exhibit these characteristics regardless of my circumstances or emotions.  Boy is that a feat!  I have also been trying to teach my kids about the fruit of the Spirit.  These traits are absolutely what sets us apart from the world.  When we are kind when someone doesn't deserve it.  When we are patient when we have every right to be mad and impatient.  When we display self control when provoked.

It hit me recently that many people try to "be" those things in life.  Be a better you.  It's not us who can "be" those things.  It's Christ who embodies those traits, always. When Christ lives in us and we let Him lead we will be loving and kind and patient.  It is difficult for us bear fruit apart from Christ.  

In teaching this passage to my girls I so want them to understand it is not through their own might that they will display these fruits.  It's not by being "good."  So many children's books, even Christian books teach just be "good".  Well people, being good just doesn't hack it. We can never be good enough. It is because of Christ  that they will exhibit  these traits.

The other day in the car my girls were being unkind to one another, bickering and fighting.  I recited the fruits of the spirit,  they immediately began  rolling their eyes at me.  "When Jesus is in us and we let him lead we should  display these fruits," I said.  Caroline promptly responded, "He is not in me Mama.  I have not heard Him call me yet.  He's not in my heart yet and I have not been baptized either."  Truth.  The girl hasn't accepted Christ.  Yet.  She is listening for Him to call her and she is aware. I had to laugh. She thought she had every right to be unkind.  She is apart from Jesus.

Anna began telling me about how she hears Jesus.  She told her teacher an untruth last week.  Anna said everyday she was in class, she had a voice inside her head telling her to be truthful with her teacher.  I excitedly said, "You hear Jesus.  I'm thrilled. You have to be still and listen to hear Him." Anna  told the truth.  The truth will set you free! It's a domino effect: listening to Christ, obedience, peace and joy results.

A couple of weeks ago, I became aware that self confidence and self esteem are not once mentioned in the Bible. Earth shattering to me.   The Bible is a guide to life and those are important. Why are they not mentioned?    I have always said, I want to build my kids up so much that the world cannot tear them down.  I want them to think they can do anything.  It hit me.  Confidence and self esteem are not mentioned because they are based on self, self doing, self being.  In my quiet time one morning the Lord spoke to me.  If Christ living in us and we let Him lead we will be joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful. gentle, and have self control.  If we display all these wonderful traits wouldn't we be ultra confident and have awesome self esteem? As Christians, are we supposed to think badly about ourselves? Not at all! The Scriptural position is that we are to focus on God and others, not ourselves (Matt. 22:36-40 Phip. 2:3-8). Any preoccupation with self (either in thinking too highly or too lowly), is an unbiblical response to God’s Word.  Rely totally on Christ and you will have lasting peace, love and true joy despite circumstances. Not to mention we should be confident because God created us and made us perfectly in His image.

Pray. Start praying that you will exhibit a life full of the fruit of the Spirit.  It will grant you genuine freedom. Freedom only comes through a life filled with the Holy Spirit.

We need to get out of ourselves. Simply stated, "It's not about you." Sometimes we get so wrapped up in ourselves that we become the center of our own universe.    It's about Him.  Following Christ breaks the stranglehold of self in our lives as He becomes the center of our universe.  We decrease; He increases.  Joy results.  ---Beth Moore

Happy Good Friday everyone!  Sunday is coming!  Because He lives, I can face tomorrow!

Monsters

Monsters.

Monsters have been haunting our house for about 2 months now, scaring my poor little Aubrey to death. 

I have told her monsters aren't real. She's not buying it.  She tells me they are like vampires with big teeth.  Where in the world has my three year old seen vampires?    I have told her God is bigger than monsters.  If monsters were real all she would have to say is, "Jesus. Jesus. Jesus." The monsters would have to go away.  Heck, God is so powerful that he had to appear to Moses in a cloud.  His glory was too blinding.  He could trump the monsters.  Aubs is still not buying it.

Tears and terror every. single. night.  This Mama is tired.  You see I've been out of the sleepless nights phase for a while now.  Oh and Lord knows, I have paid my dues there.  Now, I have children who go to bed, stay in bed usually after me loosing my sanity on them following the 5th (ish) trip to the living room and they sleep until approximately 7am give or take. 

This monster thing is causing me to sleep spooning a three year old.  And I have a king size bed. The picture you see on the internet is so dead on.  The mother with literally one leg on the floor and the toddler sleeping horizontally with her arm across the mother's forehead and one leg across her mid section.  That is the perfect visual of me and Aubs lately.  Not to mention there is no sneaking out of my room in the morning for a HOT cup of coffee and some time with my Savior before the littles hit the floor.  Because she always hears me. "Mom, is it morning time?"

Sigh.

However, as batty as I am becoming, tonight's monster conversation was a little too priceless and needed to be recorded. Hence, this blog.

Aubrey: "Mama please do not go to bed.  Stay up all night on the couch. I told you that last night and you went to bed."

Me:  "Aubs, I need sleep too.  I can't stay up all night and not go to bed."

Aubrey:  "Well, please lock my door."

Me:  "Honey, do you really think I would put you in a room where I thought monsters could get you?  I love you more than life itself.  You are totally safe."

Brynn:  "We would protect you with our lives Aubrey."

Me:  "Plus the Bible says nothing about monsters.  They aren't real.  The Bible is the truth and if it isn't in the Bible it's not true."

Anna:  "The Bible talks about demons and devils.  They are real."

Me:  "Anna zip it.  You are not helping."  (Mom eyes follow.)  (Mom eyes are when you open your eyes really wide signaling knock it off.  I have them perfected.)

Me:  "Well, I have a great idea.  I have this monster spray under the kitchen sink.  The monsters hate the way it smells.  So if we spray it all over your room they won't come near it."

Aubs: (Complete silence and skepticism)( She is never silent)

I go and get the spray and begin to spray MONSTER SPRAY (a.k.a. Febreze room spray in lavender scent) Monsters hate it. I spray every nook and cranny of Aubs room.  We started in the hallway leading up to her bedroom door.  We sprayed the window, under the bed , behind the door and in the closet.

I saw sweet relief come over my Aubrey's face.  By golly I think she bought it.  We will see.  I will let you know if she ends up in bed with me.

We put on the Bible verse cd just for safe measure.  God's word is living and powerful and monsters will flee from it.

Nighty night my precious Aubs, Mommy loves you.

2014

The  rain falls fresh on the ground.  The pond rises in my backyard.  My girls stare out the window in hopes that the tears falling from the sky will stop.  Will stop- for a brief moment so they can play.  I woke up this morning wondering if I should begin building an ark.  Will we float away?

I sit in chair sipping cinnamon coffee pondering what the new year will bring.  Giving thanks for the year past.  Thanking God for the lessons learned, the days of refinement that brought me to new heights and new revelations about God, and family and joy.

It washes over me heavy.  I want to focus on joy this year.  Seeing grace and good in the everyday despite feelings and circumstances. The last few years have been burdensome on my shoulders.  My body and soul felt tired most days.  But what have I learned?  I have learned unspeakable joy no matter what is going on in my life, during my time in this fallen world.

We served at Trinity Rescue Mission before Christmas. Ben the girls and I went to serve meals to the homeless.  I want my girls to see the gift of their lives. For that is what it is, a gift from God.  We are not deserving.  We served meals to the faces of hard life and hopelessness through a hot plate of food and something to wash it down.  Most were grateful.  But some were demanding shouting at me, " I have been waiting too long and no food."  Another commented, "This chicken isn't cooked." Walking back to the car Ben commented, "I was surprised how rude some of the people were.  We were handing them free food."   I didn't respond.  That night in the wee hours of the morning a revelation washed over me.  I sat straight up in my bed.  God speaking.  "I give you a life. A life abundant and you complain.  It's not good enough. You want more. How is that any different?"   Don't we do the same thing to God in our lives?  We say thanks but no thanks. We complain.

I am determined to live differently. To train my eyes to see the good--The God in every moment of life. At first it feels mechanical but giving thanks in hard moments softens hearts.  It's a discipline that takes practice and work but becomes more natural over time.  I am committing to practice this year. Every day.

"The practice of giving thanks, this is the way we practice the presence of God, stay present to His presence, and it  is always a practice of the eyes. We don't have to change what we see.  Only the way we see it."--- Ann Voskamp

And if you haven't read the book 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I highly recommend it.  It has changed my life.  I gave her book to everyone I know at Christmas this year.

Prayer.

My other resolve.  I began mid fall taking prayer more seriously.  Kneeling daily petitioning The King on others behalves.  It astounded me how much God listened and answered.  People healed from cancer. Relationships mended. The gift of boldness bestowed.  He hears.  But me, I don't believe that He will answer. He does. Oh ye of little faith. God thank you for showing me you hear me and answer me.  A group of girls and I started a prayer group this fall.  We learned about the disciplines of prayer and I found such joy praying for and with the wonderful ladies in my group.  God is growing and stretching me.

I am beginning a Bible study on prayer next week. I want to learn to kneel,  my face on the floor before God,  before I talk or worry.  That is my wish this year.

I am being molded into the person God desires me to be slowly but surely.  I realize how each moment, hard or happy rubs off my rough edges, refining me. All moments-- God ordained.  May I be able to teach this to my daughters so that they may learn early in life.

Alright 2014, let's see what you've got. May I receive the moments prayerfully, finding joy and grace.

Some highlights of our advent season.

And God is a God with a sense of humor.   He gives me a chance to practice what I type, even before this blog is published.  My girls sit at the breakfast table fighting. Caroline spills.  Aubrey falls off the bench hitting her head on the floor.  Thank you Lord for my children, for another day with them around my breakfast table.  Thank you for our daily bread.