Monsters

Monsters.

Monsters have been haunting our house for about 2 months now, scaring my poor little Aubrey to death. 

I have told her monsters aren't real. She's not buying it.  She tells me they are like vampires with big teeth.  Where in the world has my three year old seen vampires?    I have told her God is bigger than monsters.  If monsters were real all she would have to say is, "Jesus. Jesus. Jesus." The monsters would have to go away.  Heck, God is so powerful that he had to appear to Moses in a cloud.  His glory was too blinding.  He could trump the monsters.  Aubs is still not buying it.

Tears and terror every. single. night.  This Mama is tired.  You see I've been out of the sleepless nights phase for a while now.  Oh and Lord knows, I have paid my dues there.  Now, I have children who go to bed, stay in bed usually after me loosing my sanity on them following the 5th (ish) trip to the living room and they sleep until approximately 7am give or take. 

This monster thing is causing me to sleep spooning a three year old.  And I have a king size bed. The picture you see on the internet is so dead on.  The mother with literally one leg on the floor and the toddler sleeping horizontally with her arm across the mother's forehead and one leg across her mid section.  That is the perfect visual of me and Aubs lately.  Not to mention there is no sneaking out of my room in the morning for a HOT cup of coffee and some time with my Savior before the littles hit the floor.  Because she always hears me. "Mom, is it morning time?"

Sigh.

However, as batty as I am becoming, tonight's monster conversation was a little too priceless and needed to be recorded. Hence, this blog.

Aubrey: "Mama please do not go to bed.  Stay up all night on the couch. I told you that last night and you went to bed."

Me:  "Aubs, I need sleep too.  I can't stay up all night and not go to bed."

Aubrey:  "Well, please lock my door."

Me:  "Honey, do you really think I would put you in a room where I thought monsters could get you?  I love you more than life itself.  You are totally safe."

Brynn:  "We would protect you with our lives Aubrey."

Me:  "Plus the Bible says nothing about monsters.  They aren't real.  The Bible is the truth and if it isn't in the Bible it's not true."

Anna:  "The Bible talks about demons and devils.  They are real."

Me:  "Anna zip it.  You are not helping."  (Mom eyes follow.)  (Mom eyes are when you open your eyes really wide signaling knock it off.  I have them perfected.)

Me:  "Well, I have a great idea.  I have this monster spray under the kitchen sink.  The monsters hate the way it smells.  So if we spray it all over your room they won't come near it."

Aubs: (Complete silence and skepticism)( She is never silent)

I go and get the spray and begin to spray MONSTER SPRAY (a.k.a. Febreze room spray in lavender scent) Monsters hate it. I spray every nook and cranny of Aubs room.  We started in the hallway leading up to her bedroom door.  We sprayed the window, under the bed , behind the door and in the closet.

I saw sweet relief come over my Aubrey's face.  By golly I think she bought it.  We will see.  I will let you know if she ends up in bed with me.

We put on the Bible verse cd just for safe measure.  God's word is living and powerful and monsters will flee from it.

Nighty night my precious Aubs, Mommy loves you.