Reflections

Life lately has seemed so busy and complex.  I have literally gotten the kids in bed every night this week and wondered if I could make it to the chair in my bedroom.  The chair in my bedroom is where I like to plop at the end of the day and wait to see if bedtime was success or it's going to be a battle.  I sit exhausted with hopefulness that my babies (all 4 of them) are as tired as I am. Tonight, I had to tuck Aubrey in too many times and turned around to find that Caroline was no longer in her bed.  Caroline was finally located in Anna and Brynn's room snuggled all up with Brynnie.  I picked her up and dropped her back into her bed much to her objection.  I swear, most days I probably couldn't make a list of everything I do but the time passes too quickly and I never sit down.  At night I'll be honest I should be reading or doing something productive but if I'm honest (and you know by now I am probably too honest)  I sit and stare at mindless TV shows.  The kind of TV shows that are so dumb I don't have to think to watch them. 2 words....not edifying  I sit there the whole time and wonder, why am I watching this?  Usually much too tired to move.

We have now started soccer.  My twins have soccer practice two nights a week and a game.  Whoa.  It's kicking my butt.  I have to be so organized during the week making sure we can get homework done, spelling words memorized, dinner early enough and everything ready for bed so that all we have to do when we finally get home at 7:45 is take a bath.  I try not to think that only two of my four kiddos are in activities right now.  I foresee the inevitable... crazy, crazy schedules and mom's taxi service in my future.  I am a worrier but not going to worry about that right now...

I don't really like rigid schedules.  That is what I like best about being a stay at home Mama.  We can do whatever we want when we want for the most part.  I guess the soccer thing is stretching me.  Growing me.  I guess.  The girls love it.  Even Aubrey and Caroline adore running around in the grass with their buddies.  They come home filthy, Caroline had so much dirt under her fingernails the other night I had to cut them to get it out.  There is something beautiful about that.  That is what childhood is supposed to be like.  It makes me smile.

Life is strange.  Ebb and flow.  Crazy days followed by relaxing weekends, angry, hard moments, followed by complete happiness,  times my heart is so full I think it will burst.  Motherhood and marriage both wild rides that I wouldn't trade for the world...most days.

I guess when it's all said and done I love the challenge.  The challenge of raising sweet children, knowing that I am their example, motivator, disciplinarian, cheerleader, the person that will always love them...no matter what.

And marriage who would have ever thought when we were dating that we would now have to work really hard to spend time together and choose to love when we don't feel like it and who could have known how beautiful it would really be and how close we could become.  There is nothing like knowing you have partner for life.  In this mess together.

This tired Mama is rambling and needs to go to bed.  Just taking in each crazy, hilarious, life changing moment of this incredible journey we are on.

Ohh and I told you I can't make up half this stuff.  Aubrey just climbed out of her crib for the first time in her two years and came running in here.  Let the fun begin........

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:7