Bring on 2012

This week we have had people sleeping in every crevice of our home.  Literally.

My husband lights up when he is around his family.  Seriously the man is on cloud nine.  He's a family man through and through.  He loves everything that comes with his entire family, (minus 2) piling into our home and huge family feasts around our table. 

I get crazy looks from friends when I tell them our Christmas plans and the number of family members who are enjoying our hospitality.  Is there anything more important than family? Let me answer that for you.  No. Nothing.

Christmas is coming to a close.  Time to take down the tree.

As a  new year approaches  I can't help but reflect on the wisdom I have gained.  I learn more with each passing year. But my 35th year of life... what a year.  My brain is busy trying to wrap itself around everything 2011 taught me.

This year I have learned so much about myself, my hubby my kids, my relationship with the Lord Almighty. 

I have become comfortable in my skin.  I feel free. Very free.

Peaceful.

I have learned to communicate more clearly and deliberately.  I have learned that as long as Jesus approves of my efforts in life I don't need to please anyone else.  I have learned to be me.  To like me.  If others like me great...oh and I hope they do, but if they don't it's fine...really.

I have come to the conclusion that I need to get over myself.  This life is not about me.  It's temporary.  I am here on this Earth to be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ.  Period.  Plain and simple.

I need to take the time to be kind, anticipate others needs and tell them about the love of our Savior.  Life is not promised to be comfortable, or happy or easy.  I  need to rejoice and fulfill my calling regardless of my feelings or circumstances.


"Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to a divine purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: That we are here for the sake of others...for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day, I realize how much my outer and inner life is built upon the labors of people, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.” Albert Einstein



Life is pretty great right now.  I'm kind of in awe.  I sat at the beach today with my in laws, my four beautiful, blonde, healthy daughters running around in the sand, Benji smiling from ear to ear and thought-- thank you Jesus.  But if things change this coming year I will still say thank you Jesus.  Truly, thank you.

I have also come to a contentment in life with what I have.  I used to dream and obsess about what I "need"  --- a  bigger house, a certain sweater, the zebra shoes, new furniture and the list goes on.  I have what I need.  All I need... and more.

I feel like I have learned how to communicate with Ben.  I know , I know it has only taken 11 years but it has revolutionized our marriage.  He has mellowed.  That helps too.  All in all our path is leading in the same direction and we are walking side by side. Hand in hand. He's my best friend.  I love being the co captain of this ship with him.

2011 brought many answered prayers.

2 of my girls decided to trust in the Lord.  2 down 2 to go. Life changing.

Ohh and did I mention my twin sister is moving to FL!  I wish you all could see the happy dance I am doing at this very minute.  I guess I can use this next year to try and figure out how to get the rest of my family down here;)

My prayer for 2012 is that God uses me for His purposes.  May I take the time to listen so I know His plans for me and may I be willing and ready.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
-Scholar Joseph Campbell

I'm am so enjoying the life God has planned for me.  Bring on 2012.

Coffee

I got up this morning in hopes of drinking a cup of coffee in peace.  Better luck next time.

I'll set the scene for you.

7am

My kitchen.

I have a house full of Christmas guests sleeping in the bedrooms.

Brynn:  Mama did you know that alligators don't just eat people to be mean?  Mama did you know that elves have special feet so they can walk?

Anna: (Doing Micheal Jacksonesque moves across my kitchen floor) What day is it?  What day is it? What day is it?  Do I have dance today?

Caroline: (Always the voice of reason)  You all better be quiet you're gonna wake the baby.  Mama Anna is being too loud she is going wake up Aubrey.  Mama.  Can I watch Caillou?  I have to go potty I need help!  Please help me!  It's too dark in there.

Anna: ( Rapping some weird song about Christmas) Is Santa coming tonight?  What will happen if I touch Jerry? (Jerry is our elf on the shelf)


Me:  He will lose his magic.

Brynn: Don't touch Jerry.  Mom! Anna is gonna touch Jerry.

Caroline: Oh no Jerry won't work and Santa won't come.  Anna you are so mean.  No! don't touch Jerry.  Please don't touch Jerry.

Me:  Anna don't touch Jerry

Anna: We get muffins for breakfast.  Aww yeah.  Come to mama little muffin you have a date with my mouth.

Brynn: (Talking to Jerry)  Move little guy.  I know you are just plastic but I want to see you walk.

Caroline: (Singing) Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle all the way.  Mama can I look at pictures on your phone?

Brynn: (Dressed in a police outfit)  Ma'am do you have a problem with snakes around here?  I am a snake catcher.  I would be willing to catch them for you. I think I saw a red, black and white snake.

Then from the bedroom I hear #4 stand up in her crib.

Aubrey:  Mama Mama Mama Mama eat eat eat eat. (I better feed her we all know what happens when I make her wait.) (If you missed it see previous post:Not Even 10 O'clock.)

Heck, drink a cup of coffee... I never got it made.

Have I told you?

I was standing in the audience watching you girls sing at church last evening and I was overcome by everything I want you to know, everything I want to teach you.  It seems I have so little time and so much to share.

Sometimes we get caught up in the shuffle of everyday life.  Do I take the time to teach you?  Do I lead by example?

My Mama (your Nana) was and still is one of my greatest teachers.  Here are some of the lessons she taught me about life that I want to pass down to you girls. Some lessons she could not teach me, I have learned them on my own the hard way.  Listen carefully.  You will need them.  I hope I am around for a long time to see your life unfold but if God has other plans I want you to know these things:

Love people with a love that accepts and cherishes unconditionally.  Expect the same kind of love from whomever you marry.

Make time to read your Bible and do a daily devotional.  Your days will be easier.

Ask God every morning to be His instrument....to bring people across your path that need a gentle touch.  Ask Him to always keep you aware.  There is no greater blessing.

Participate in random acts of kindness.  It will bless your heart and others as well.

Keep your motives as well as your actions, honest and Godly.  Always keep in mind that the flesh and spirit want different things...the motives are not the same.

Guard your heart for it determines the course of your life.  Don't give it to boys freely. Once you give it you can't take it back.

You need good girl friends in life.  Relationships with close friends are invaluable.  Surround yourself with girls you can trust.

God is in control and His will is perfect.  You might not understand what He is doing but He doesn't make mistakes.  That should give you hope and comfort in troubled times.

People before projects. 

Remember to lift your hand up to God for help and direction and out to others for assistance, guidance and comfort.

It is easy to talk to God and ask of Him.  But it is important to take time to listen.  Be still and listen.  Draw upon His strength.  He sees the big picture we do not.

Be slow to anger and raise your voice in anger.  Harsh words are damaging.  Unkind words may be forgiven but not forgotten.

Marriage is a wonderful thing but it will be harder than you think.  Always put God at the center of your marriage.  Don't listen to people who say you can live on love.  A good marriage takes work.  Learn to communicate effectively with your spouse. Do not be unequally yoked.

Do not gossip.  Nothing good can come from it.  Do not tear others down just to make yourself feel better.

Have courage.  Don't  be afraid to try things just because you might fail.  You will never know if you don't try.  Remember you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.

Don't be afraid to speak out where you don't believe or where there is room for improvement.  Don't be critical, work to improve in a positive way.

Don't underestimate hospitality.  Open your home to people even if it is a mess.  Don't act put upon when people stay with you.  God has given you so much.  Share what is His with others.

Look to nature to remember the awesome power of God.  All you have to do is go outside and look around you.

Love is a choice, happiness is an ability and God is the source of both.  It is sooo true!

Take care of your body for it is the temple of the Lord.  Take time to exercise.

Don't tell God how big the mountain is.  Tell the mountain how big your God is!

Be available to others.  You never know when you may be an answer to someones special prayer.  Someone may know that life is good because of you, and that tomorrow has a bright and shining hope that wouldn't be there if you weren't here today.

Know who you are and be confident.  There is not a more attractive quality  Don't be afraid to be yourself.  God made you unique and special.  .

Get and education and choose a vocation in which you can support yourself.  You never know what will happen in life.  There will be great comfort knowing you can support yourself if need be.

Take people at their word.  Don't over analyze people and situations

Don't wish away the days.  God doesn't promise tomorrow.  Learn to appreciate the small joys that each day brings.

Bloom where you are planted.  God has you where you are for a reason.

Be authentic and transparent.  Don't pretend to be something you are not.  There is nothing more freeing than being real and not putting on a facade.

Don't go on what the world says about motherhood and family.  I hope you desire to be the center of your family and your home.  It is the greatest fulfillment I have ever experienced.  The sacrifice is great but the reward is greater.

You can't tell people how much you love them too often.  You can't give too many hugs and kisses.  Don't underestimate the power of physical touch.

If you want to see what you value in life just look at what you put time and effort into on a regular basis.  Is what you value in line with what Jesus said should have value?

Don't be passive aggressive.  Say what you mean, mean what you say.

Learn to cook.  It is a necessity in life.  It will be something that you can always share with others and that most people appreciate.

Give grace abundantly.  Your Heavenly father extends grace to you.  You should do the same.  This does not mean you have to be a doormat.  Set healthy boundaries.

Use the Bible as your guide to life.  If it says it is wrong in the Bible... it is wrong.

Cultivate strong bonds with your sisters.  Do not compete with each other.  Celebrate each others successes and differences.  When Daddy and I are gone they will be all your have. Family is important.  Make time for family.

Don't judge people.  Be quick to empathize.  You can never fully understand until you walk a mile in someone elses shoes.

Your life is yours to build as you choose.  Remember that choices have consequences.  Think about the consequences before you make quick decisions. 

I'm sure as the years progress I will add to this list.  This is just for starters.

You all will probably read this as teenagers and roll your eyes...but trust me young ones when you are older you will read it again and count it as wisdom.

I use these lessons everyday. Pencil them on your hearts. They are so important.

The love I have for you girls overwhelms me.  Always know my love for you.  Know God's love for you.  I wish you happiness in life in return for all the joy you bring to me.

Anna, Brynn, Caroline, and Aubrey,  I hope you dance.  Dance through life and enjoy what it has to offer.

May love walk by you side.  May friendship sing in your smile.  May opportunity remember to knock on your door and surprise you once in a while.  May your memories be ones that you wouldn't trade for anything.  May your hopes and dreams find ways of coming true.  May you never forget how dearly I wish "Happy Everything" for you.        Douglas Pagels

Love,
Mama

Date Night

Date night.  I anticipate date night.  I look forward to it.  Date night motivates me on the hard days. Date night is therapy for my soul.

Date night happens to be one of the only New Year's resolutions I kept this year....

I wake up the morning of date night thinking about what I might wear, what color to paint my toes,  what jewels I will drape around my neck.  I try on all the different possibilities to see what looks best.  On my way to the mirror,  I trip over blocks, pacifiers and dolls on the floor.

My worlds collide. The irony. High heels and cocktail dress tripping on all things baby.  My girls sit on the vanity playing with my makeup brushes as I apply, primp and gloss.

I play so many roles.

Tonight I am me. 

I want to wear a fancy dress and not worry that someone will slobber on it or touch me with sticky hands.  I want to tease my hair, wear ridiculously big earrings, red lipstick and  I want to wear a ton of bangle bracelets and not have anyone ask to "try them on."  I want my hubby say "wow!" when I walk into the room.  I want to feel young and sassy.

I change my purse, from the one that holds bibs, and old happy meal toys and has animal crackers smashed in the bottom of it to the clutch that holds my i.d. and a tube of lip gloss.  Do I dare leave the house with only that?  A mamas got to be prepared....but not on date night.

Tonight I am friend.

Date nights are usually with our closest couple friends.  We laugh until our stomachs hurt and eat too much food.  It's fabulous.  I don't think about homework, or bedtime or housework.  I think about how much I love the people I am with. 

Tonight I am wife.

I feel "the feelings" all over again for my hubby.  The feelings of excitement and giddiness I always felt when Ben would come and pick me up at my apartment in college.  I love him even more today.  We sit close his arm around my shoulders. I notice again how funny he is.  He's the life of the party, everyone laughs at him. I smile. That is one of the reasons I fell in love with him. Benji also wears cologne on date night....not a regular daily occurrence. I love cologne. Anyone with me that one of greatest things is a sweet smelling man.  Amen and amen.

Food, fun and fellowship.

And then back home to sleeping children.  My precious, precious children.  My soul has been rejuvenated.  My marriage rekindled.   Thankful.  More than ready to be Mommy again in the morning. Church at 9am.

Time with my spouse is possibly one of the best things I can do for myself, my marriage and my children.

Thank you Lord for date night-- one of life's little pleasures.

Wipeout

The show Wipeout is a huge hit at our house.  The girls absolutely love it.  I mean who doesn't love watching people totally fall, jump on the big balls and get punched in the face. 

Staying up late, real late, (Ohhh 8pm so late!) to watch Wipeout is a serious motivator for the Kneisley chics.  Girls take naps without a problem, learn their spelling words faster, complete homework and take baths with no goofing..well almost no goofing.  I 'm not proud!  I use it!

So much to my absolute delight last week I see a commercial for Christmas Wipeout on Thursday evening.  My kids two favorite things: Christmas and Wipeout.  What could be better?  Score!

Honestly, none of my children even my 7 year olds have much concept of time.  But I felt okay this morning over breakfast bringing up that Wipeout is on this evening after dinner.  Maybe that was a mistake because all day Aubrey has been walking around saying, "Wipeout,Wipeout, Wipeout, Wipeout, Wipeout."  I could keep typing but my hands are getting tired an truthfully that is no exaggeration on how many times that has come out of her sweet lips today.

I love it though.  What is better then something that brings the whole family together.  I sit there and watch my 4 wide eyed daughters staring at the TV completely belly laughing with one another, grinning from ear to ear.

Anna insists that she would have no problem winning the show.

Caroline always tells me about 50 times while the show is on that she doesn't ever want to be a contestant on Wipeout.  I promise her she will never have to...unless she doesn't listen to her Mama.  

(Insert Villain laugh) Ahahahahahahaha.

Childlike Faith

Be still my heart.

This weekend my girls Anna and Brynn asked Jesus Christ to become their Lord and Savior.  At first I was skeptical: both of them?, did they just follow one another?, do they understand?

Ben and I have talked with them multiple times over the last year.

Then to learn they were in separate classes and each girl expressed interest on her own.  What courage to come forward in front of their peers.  What do they really need to understand?  They understand that we are sinners who Jesus died on the cross to save.  Enough said.

How good does one have to be, how much do we need to know until we know enough to be saved?  That is missing the whole point really.  We are saved by grace.  Plain and simple.

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."  Matthew 19:14

I love their innocence and their eagerness to follow their Heavenly Father.  The one who knew every hair on their head before they were born.  The one who knew on the day they were born to a Russian birth mom, in Siberia, on the other side of the world, that I was to be their mother.  As my sister says God's tapestry woven together perfectly. The one who  knew that at church in Fleming Island, Florida on this very Sunday they would make the most important decision of their lives.

The tears are falling freely as I type this.  I am so thankful.  So humbled.  I know that some mother's wait their entire lives, praying fervently for their sons and daughters to make that leap of faith and they never do.

Of course we have had the conversations following, about how their lives need to bear fruit. Now when they make any decisions, big or small they need to ask themselves does it glorify God? What would God have me do? And when they pray that God will help them make decisions in their lives. We have talked about the I'm Third Principle: God First, Others Second and Myself Third.  It will come. They will grow in their faith along the way.

My girls will fall, sure.  But they will live a life experiencing the hope that Jesus Christ provides.  I am comforted knowing that the boo boos they may suffer from the falls in life will not sting as badly because they have been given hope and grace and peace.

They are to be baptized in church on Christmas morning.  How fitting.  A tiny baby born in a manger, the hope of the world, sent to save us.

Bring on the Kleenex.  This Mama will need them.  Anna and Brynn, it all could have turned out so differently.  Yet God plucked you from a life of despair and had other plans for you.  To whom much is given much is expected.

An oldie but a goodie----

Now go little ones, be His hands and feet.

Welcome to God's Kingdom.

I think we can learn alot from the simplicity of childlike faith.

Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.  Luke 2:7

In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. 1 John 4:9

Hideaway

Today Ben had to work.  Anna and Brynn had choir practice for the church Christmas play.  But other than that we stayed in...and it was fabulous.  If I hadn't taken the girls to choir I probably would still be sporting my comfy red, moose pajama pants and fuzzy pink slippers.  Good visual huh!

Some days I like to stay inside and not even open the blinds.  Today was one of those days.  We made cookies, baked bread, watched Soul Surfer for the 120th time.  I love days like today.  Where we are out of touch with the world and in touch with each other.

We talked about friends at school, who was nice and who wasn't, told stories about when the girls were babies and discussed artwork.  Brynn (a.k.a "Mouth")  gave us a half  hour dissertation on abstract art over lunch.  What I gathered after the whole thing was there are no straight lines in abstract art.  Boy that girl can talk!

Living in Florida with such great weather it isn't often when I feel like being a hermit.  Blue skies and sunshine usually make me want to get up and go be productive  But today there was a nip in the air (at least for Florida...it's all relative) and gray skies.  A perfect day to hideaway in our Christmas sanctuary.

My girls played play doh and took turns jumping off of the couch onto their beanbags.

I caught up on the mountain of laundry that is overtaking my house.

Aubrey took a 3 hour nap. (Insert song sung in soprano voice) Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow.  I decided to catch some shut eye too and I instructed the other 3 to leave me alone unless someone was dying. I guess nobody died. It's amazing what a quick nap does for my soul.  It rejuvenates me to the core.

I didn't really even text or talk on the phone.  Except with my twin, Stacy.  That doesn't count.  I never go a day without talking to her.  Life as it should be.

Life shouldn't always be go, go, go.

Today it wasn't.