Wow.

My kids beg me all the time to go to McDonalds and EAT INSIDE.  We go to Mc Donalds often, but because of the sheer volume of my children I never take them into eat.  I don't know what I was thinking, but tonight, I agreed to take them to McDonalds and eat inside.

 I don't even know where to start.  Caroline was running around like a banshee.  Aubrey was screaming at the top of her lungs for food and everytime I would give her a bite she would put it in her mouth and then spit it on the floor.  My twins were arguing about the happy meal toy and asking for drink refills every 30 seconds.   At one point, I looked over and Caroline was standing on top of the table without any shoes on.  I was speechless.  I have "those kids."  You know..... those kids that we all look at before we actually have any kids of our own and say, "my kids will never act like that."   To top it all off,  as I was getting ready to leave, Caroline decided to bolt out the door into the parking lot.  The drive thru line was full of cars, so to save her life (with Aubrey on my hip) I ran and grabbed her by the back of her hair to get her to stop.  Caroline immediately began screaming loudly that I hurt her and cried "Mama, why did you pull my hair?"  Wow.  I have nothing else to say but wow.  What a stressful experience. 

People often look at me like I am a side show at a circus with my four kiddos and tonight I totally didn't blame them.

The range of emotions I go through in a day is strange. It's like a roller coaster.  Tonight I absolutely wanted to kill all of my children. I felt mad and ignored.  However, now that they are bathed, and in bed, my heart is overflowing with love. I cherish standing at their bedroom doors watching them sleep. I listen to their sweet breathing and think about what blessings they are. I know it's bipolar.

I do know one thing-- of all the "mom advice" I have gotten over the years I hear one piece of advice over and over.  Don't forget to pause and enjoy your children's younger years, although, they can be overwhelming at times, they go by so quickly.

So tonight I ask myself, am I wishing away the days?  Am I always too anxious for my kids to get to the next stage of life so it will be easier?  I know deep down that these days are fleeting like a thief in the night.

So, McDonalds tonight was a disaster...mildly put. Instead of thinking I can't wait until my kids are older so we can eat at restaurants like civilized people ...I'm just going to let it go. I wouldn't change a thing.  If anything, we were some fabulous dinner entertainment.  One day when I am sitting in a restaurant as an empty nester, I will look back and laugh and wish I could do it all over again.

I still profess that McDonald's drive thru is a gift from God!