Rock.

When I pondered motherhood before I had kids I always imagined the birthday parties, family holidays and school days.  I never thought about the "stuff" for lack of a better word that wouldn't be fun but would bond me to my children.  The nights of sleeping with Brynn because she was in a new country and would wake up scared in the middle of the night.  Trying to arouse Anna  from a dead sleep to go to the bathroom so she wouldn't wet her bed.  Rocking with Caroline at all hours because she was obsessed with nursing and I couldn't tell her "no".  Clutching Aubrey to my chest as she suffered through sickness and fever.   It is the glue that binds us together.

The other day I was putting Aubrey down for her nap and she looked up at me and said, "Ock Mama ock." (Translation "Rock Mama rock.")  She wanted to rock.  Back in the day I would have thought to myself,  no she is stalling.  She needs to take her nap.  I need to get things done.  Today I looked at my precious ones face  and rocked.  I sat there breathing her in.  Looking into her eyes all the way to her soul. She met my gaze and never looked away.  It was so comfortable.  I held her tightly in my arms rocking back and forth.  My heart was overflowing.  I was thinking of all the chaos that has transpired in my house over the past few years.  I chuckled at all of the poopy diapers I have changed and all of the vomit I have cleaned up and all I could do was grin.  No, it hasn't all been rosey and I still say,  "I'll sleep when I'm dead."

  I can't hug them enough or kiss them enough or pray with them enough.  My girls and I are bonded for life over the good times and not so good.  Lately, I have been taking the time to rock....  even my seven year olds.