Weddingness

It's wedding time.  We are gearing up for my baby sisters wedding on October 6th.  Maybe I have been more in tune to all the planning, expenses and details because honestly, I am scared to death.  I have four daughters.  I listen to my mother and I think to myself, "This is going to be me one day."  Take note.

The wedding festivities begin next week in Kentucky.  My girls have all their shoes and dresses ready to go.  I have my bridesmaid dress and have been reviewing up dos.  Mama has been working diligently on last minute details.   It's all so exciting.  Let's hope my girlies perform their flower girl and junior bridesmaid duties with grace and charm.  Let's hope.  I'm not promising. 

Sarah, my baby sister, the bride, is eleven years younger than me. I remember everything about her life from the time she was born. I recall the first time I held her, how she followed me around as a toddler and saying good bye to her as she and my family left me at college my freshman year.  At times I was more like a mother to her rather than a sister because I was so much older.  We are super close and I am proud of the intelligent (Did I mention she just got in physician's assistant school?), sweet, God fearing young woman she has become.  We are thrilled with her choice for a life mate.

I can't help but remember a trip Sarah took to stay with me a couple years ago.  She had just broken up with her long time boyfriend and she was  heartbroken.  We spent the week talking about life and faith, drinking sweet tea, shopping and discussing God's plan and how HE always works things out.  He see the big picture we don't.  I fully expected her to tell me to shut up during some of our conversations because, let's face it, sometimes it's just not what you want to hear in times of brokenheartedness.  But she took everything in stride and came through with grace.  It was one of the most special 10 days we have ever spent with each other just doing everyday life and having deep, meaningful conversations.

Shortly after returning home, Sarah met Cory and the rest is history.

 

So as her wedding approaches, I can't help but thank God for Sarah and Cory and the heart they share for the Lord. I anticipate with joy, the life they will have together.  Bless his heart he is about to enter quite a family;)  Welcome aboard buddy! 

I would like to offer a disclaimer to anyone who will be at the wedding.  I am a crier.  I'm not talking about  the dab your eyes with a tissue crier, I mean a blow your nose, ugly face crier.  I get emotional watching my daughters walk down the aisle as flower girls and junior bridesmaids and seeing my sister marry her prince charming. God's blessings so perfectly on display right in front of my eyes. So, I apologize in advance. I can't help it.

I will  take lots of pics of my girls and my nieces in their floofy (is that a word?) dresses.  Let's face it they would look good in a gunny sack. And let's pray that my sister Stacy, doesn't have baby number 3 until after the ceremony. 

During my wedding and my sister's wedding we have always claimed the saying, "No matter what happens today we will not let anyone steal our joy."  It helps keep our priorities in check and maintain perspective. I am claiming it now.  No Bridezillas in this fam.

The Crew before Stacy's wedding...

Let the celebration begin!  It's wedding time!

My Messy House

Happy fall y'all.  I have all my pumpkins out, my fall wreath on the door and the autumn harvest candle burning on my counter.  Yes, I know it is still 86 degrees.  I don't care.  I am pretending.  Don't ruin it for me.

Sorry I have been missing in action.  Between running all the kids to school, sports and regular wifely duties it seems sometimes I don't have a minute to do anything else and when I do I am way too tired to write.  But I do miss it.  It's my therapy.

I have been doing a Bible study on the book of James.  If you want a book to kick your butt read James.  Who knew this little book has so much to say?  You want to learn about trials, wisdom, controlling your tongue, being judgemental, worldly desires, faith vs.works and I could go on but you get the point...read James.  I have been doing the Beth Moore study and as my sister says, "Beth Moore can find insight in a ketchup packet", but it is true .  I don't regret carving the time out of my busy life it has truly blessed me.  Although, honestly 2 months ago I could have given you 20 reasons why there was no possible way I could fit a Bible study in my schedule.  But I did and I am glad.

Through the study I have met some really sweet girls.  We were all discussing something I thought I would share with you today.  We were discussing how whenever anyone calls and says that they are coming over we run around like mad women and wipe, and pick up and shove things in closets because we really don't want people to know how we "really" live.  I about died laughing because this is me.  Guilty.  I so do it.  Actually, everyone at my table admitted they do the same thing.  We are always trying to hide reality.  Reality would probably make us more approachable.  When my neighbor pops over, if my house is a wreck she would most likely think, "Great, I am not the only one."  How often do I not invite someone over or inside because of my messy house.  More often than I would like to admit.  It really doesn't matter.  My house was given to me by God and I need to use it for fellowship and His glory.  Mess or not.  So the next time you come over you may trip over a toy or two or thrity (for the sake of honesty), there may be pee on the toilet seat and you will definitely see dishes in the sink.  Don't judge.  I am working on being real.  Turning over a new leaf;)

The main reasons my house is always a mess...
Cute aren't they?

For our Faith to be real it must show in our lives.  If our faith is not evident we really don't believe.  Whoa. Girlfriend, that is a big one. As my mentor always says, "I'm still chewing on it."  So Lord, I pray you put people in my path that need a gentle touch and that I will not turn them away because I am prideful and have a messy house...

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other. – John 15:16-17

I want to share a praise with you.  My sweet Anna who started at a new school this year brought home her interim report card last week.  Drum roll please... straight A's. My jaw hit the floor and I might have shed a few tears of joy..I said might.  The girl is taking off.  Flourishing I tell ya.  I am so relieved and happy and proud.  I give God all the Glory and I pat myself on the back for listening to my inner mommy. 

Happy hump day everyone!

Twinkle Toes

Yes. Today my heart is smiling.  Although, that really isn't possible is it?  You know one of those days that something just makes you feel so blessed and happy you can't wipe the grin off your face.

I know you probably think I won the lottery or something but no.  It's my little twinkle toes.  Aubrey and Caroline.  They love ballet so much and I love to watch them even more.  Aubrey asks me everyday if it's ballet day. She gets so excited.

My two older girls have always been tomboys.  They would rather die than put on a tutu and twirl around the floor.  I have embraced their love of soccer and as a matter of fact they are pretty good. I love being a soccer mom.  But I have to admit, last year when Caroline asked me if she could take ballet I couldn't get to the studio fast enough to sign her up.   Faithfully, once a week, Aubrey would  go with me to take Caroline to ballet. She would stand on the bench on her tip toes just beneath the viewing window, her eyes glued, to watch Caroline dance.  I would always say, (something Aubrey hears alot) "Next year, when you are older, you can go too."

Unfortunately in January Caroline became very ill and was not allowed to participate in group activities so we had to quit dance.  Much to her dismay and mine.

When this August rolled around I announced I was ready to go and sign Aubrey and Caroline up for dance and Caroline dropped a bombshell on me.  "Mama I don't want to do ballet.  I want to play soccer like Anna and Brynn."  "Ok." I choked back my disappointment.  Just call me Mrs. Supportive although I didn't really want to be.

Luckily, at Aubrey's first dance class this year Caroline had to go in with her for moral support and she changed her mind.   It didn't take long or any convincing on my part and now they are both in the same ballet class.

Needless to say, I could spend hours watching my two littles gracefully (okay maybe a slight exaggeration) put their hands over their heads and walk on their tip toes across the floor. I can't get enough when they both turn around and wave at me through the window just to make sure I am watching.  I always give a thumbs up or the occasional pay attention to your teacher sign.

 

I truly love it.  And oh the innocence of young girls in frilly, pink tutus,  who still believe that when they grow up they can be a ballerina.  The world is their oyster.

I want to etch these special moments in my brain so I will always remember them.

So yep,  I will say it again, it's the little things.  The little things that make my heart smile,  like my  twinkle toes....

Big Yet Small

I think I am mourning a little bit. I feel sad.  My kids are getting older.  I can't even count the times this week that one of them has done something or said something and I have thought to myself, "Gee, she seems so grown up."

I got out of the shower this evening and Aubrey and Caroline were waiting for me, ready to execute the post bath routine.  All by themselves.  They dried me off, brushed my hair and helped me pick out my jammies. Just like I have done for them countless times before.  I have had many deep conversations this week with Aubrey. I am enjoying our one on one time.  She is using words like might and privilege.  Caroline goes to school three days a week and never cries when I leave.  In her classroom she unpacks her book bag and puts her snack on the shelf. So different from last year when the teachers would peel her off my leg every morning.  Today Caroline asked me if she could eat her cereal out of a glass bowl. Gulp.  As much as I have longed for these days during the hard times, now that they are here I honestly  haven't quite figured out how I feel about them. 

Anna and Brynn can totally unload the dishwasher and learn their spelling words without help.  They get up in the morning and pick out their own clothes and get dressed.  This morning Anna poured cereal and milk (without spilling it) in bowls for all her sisters.  They read chapter books before bed instead of thumbing through picture books.  That's big girl stuff.  They are having their first sleep over this Friday night. (Prayers appreciated)  I am already brainstorming how I can make my house the most fun house on the block so this is where my girls and their friends want to congregate.

This week we verbally promised our toddler beds to our neighbors. I just sat in the babies room last night staring at their nursery and the beds, picturing big girl beds in their place. I gazed at the toddler beds that all my girls have slept in. My mom told me when it was time to move Anna and Brynn out of them that, "Keeping them in toddler beds won't keep them little."  She's right. I guess it's the same for Aubrey and Caroline. Nonetheless, I have a pit in my stomach.

As I was pondering how big they are I also thought of how small they still seem.  They will always be my babies.  They still need their boo boos kissed and they like to sit on my lap and tell me about their day.  Aubrey still loves to be wrapped in her blankie and rocked.  Caroline still needs me to brush her teeth for her and scratch her back before bedtime.  They all still bust a move oblivious to present company, no matter where we are when their favorite song comes on the radio.  (Although, I have adult friends who do this as well...who will remain nameless...ahem...Tempa)  Anna never seemed littler than when I left her at a new school this year. Brynn still dresses up everyday in some costume and plays make believe. And they all still go crazy over bubbles.

I know we raise our children to be independent and to have confidence and spread their wings but when they do it stings a little. Do they still need me?  The answer is yes.  They will always need me just in different ways and that's okay.

I have had a house full of little ones for a while now and this is new territory for me. I have been a breastfeeding, diaper changing, care taking fool for the past few years. I am reevaluating my role.  It is bitter sweet.

Brynn told me something we were talking about today, "Was so last year." Oh if only she was 2 again.

My advice to you...cherish each day as a gift, don't wish away stages even when it's hard.  Make your motto, "No regrets."

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. Proverbs 22:6

Quiet Clarity

Long drive back over the bridge.  Just dropped my third child off at preschool.  Sigh.  Unusual not to have Aubrey in the car with me too, but she stayed home with Daddy.  A feeling of anxiousness envelops me.

I begin to pray.

"Lord, I pray over my children this morning.  I pray that you protect them while they are away from me.  I pray that you will help them to find friends that will make their days brighter, I pray that they can be a gentle touch to someone who needs it or comic relief to a teacher who is having a bad day.  I pray that they learn what they need to learn this year, in school but also in life.  I pray that I can help them learn those "oh so important" life lessons.  Lord, please equip me as a mother to help me to be a tender place to fall but  firm when necessary.  Help me to know when to speak and offer my opinion and when to listen and let my children figure things out on their own.  Give me patience with homework, and learning disabilities and crazy toddlers.  Help me to remember that having one child at home doesn't mean I have to get more done.  Help me to put aside chores to spend quality time with Aubrey.  Help me to nurture her and focus on her needs. Help me to be a daily example of your peace and kindness and love. I thank you for my children and what joy they bring to me. I thank you for designing them to rub off my rough edges as well. Lessons are reciprocal. You designed it that way... perfectly. Lord with the extra time I have at home while my kids are in school, use me. Use me to bless others. Allow others to cross my path that may need encouragement or a friend. Reveal your purposes. I give you my life. Use it as you will.   Lord, I pray for our family this year. I thank you in advance for the fun we will share and I also pray that you will help us weather any storms that come our way.  I love you with all my heart.  I entrust my girls to you Lord.  Amen."

Wow.  The clarity that comes in a quiet car. I don't experience it often.

May I use my extra "car time" this year to rest quietly in you.  Let the rat race begin.

Caroline Noel. First day of Preschool

The Sock Drawer.

Today, I have realized one thing.  I do alot of jobs around here that no one else thinks about or cares about.  Now, men that read my blog, before you click the X at the top of your screen maybe you should continue reading.  Brownie points...ya know.

What did I do today?  I wiped out the fridge, did laundry and  bought Aubrey some ballet shoes. I picked up noodles and then granola bar off of the kitchen floor and cleaned dried food off of the highchair. The most exciting thing I did today is I bought new underwear and socks for my children and cleaned out their sock drawers. Blah, blah, blah.  I know.  I am a nut job or maybe this "stay at home mom thing" is making me rather boring. Did I mention I used to run a business?   Let me explain. I save odd socks all year.  I just know that I will find the match and that if I throw an odd sock away, I won't have it when I need it.  We have a sock monster that lives in our house.  He eats one of virtually every pair of socks that are purchased.  Consequently, my girls drawers are full of odd socks that make the drawer look messy.  Literally, every day for 6 months I have opened the sock drawer and thought to myself, "I really need to clean out this drawer."  Today I did.  I got a big 'ole garbage bag and dumped the whole lot of odd socks in the trash.  It was liberating. I folded all the new white socks neatly in the drawer (Yes, for the next couple of days they will be white)  and smiled triumphantly.  I did the same to the underwear drawer.  How my children's underwear end up looking l like they have been through 100 mud runs are beyond me but I replaced them today.  Satisfaction I tell ya.  And then it occurred to me.   I spend countless hours doing jobs around our home that nobody notices, but that matter.

It takes so much to get kiddos back to school.  Shoes, clothes, school supplies, physicals, forms galore and so on and so on.  Mothers do so much little stuff that is often off the radar.

I did alot of research, worrying and praying about my daughter Anna changing schools  She had to be evaluated, have reference forms completed,  have a physical done, she needed uniforms--all monogrammed with the schools logo. I talked to the headmaster numerous times on the phone and made many visits to pay deposits and tuition.  It has been alot of sweat and tears. 

Yesterday, Ben went to pick Anna up from school.   When they arrived home I was folding laundry in the bedroom and Ben came in and simply said, "Shan good job.  I haven't seen Anna that happy or with that much confidence in a long time.  Good job, Shannon Rae."   I about fell over.  People, that meant the world to me.  He noticed and thanked me.  Anna's success would have been thanks enough for my efforts but it was so great to hear.

So to all the men out there, sorry if you are bored to tears with this post.  Thanks for not tuning me out.  Thank your wife.  She does alot of jobs that go unnoticed and honestly are often undone shortly after she completes them.

And ladies great job.  I know the little jobs you do that go unnoticed.  They matter.  Go clean out the sock drawer.  It's a great feeling.

On a happy note...Aubrey started ballet today.  Be still my heart.  Cutest. Ballerina. Ever.  She didn't dance much, but boy did she look the part.  The whole fam went to support.  She basically spent the entire class waving to us through the window.

Hello August.

I wouldn't be truthful if I didn't say that in June I was dreading summer just a little.  The thought of keeping four little ones occupied, fed, the house tidied with no break was daunting.  But boy was I wrong.  We had a fabulous summer.  The best one to date!  Actually, I cannot believe I am saying, "Hello August!"

School starts this week.  I have mixed emotions.  I crave routine and schedules but there is something incredibly refreshing about letting the kids stay up later, not worrying about homework and lazy days  by the pool.

Trying to grab a hold of the various seasons of life.  Savor the sights, smells and memories. Summer is one of my favorites.  One can never swim too much, get a dark enough tan or eat too many ice cream cones.  Oh and let's not forget sweet tea.  My favorite.

We have been very blessed this summer.  So fun to sit with the girls before they go to bed and reminisce about our summer adventures.  We often ask, "What was the high point of your day, what was the low point?"  We just returned from a vacation with my parents.  So there were many high points for my girls to discuss.  Yes, if you are thinking we are mooching off of our parents it's true.  Our fabulous vacations are often made possible because of their generosity.  Thank you. xoxo

I'm itching for fall.  I have to "play" fall here in  Florida.  It is really still summer here until almost November but I hang up my fall wreaths, put out my fall Yankee candle and bake everything under the sun that includes the ingredient pumpkin.  It is a symbol of school starting, fall soccer games, football season and the anticipation of new teachers, new classmates and this year for my sweet Anna, a new school.

I have prayed long and hard about Anna changing schools. My heart is heavy. She has struggled and we have found a perfect place to help catch her up, and rebuild her confidence.  She will be starting at a new school on Monday.  We are excited for the opportunities that this new school holds for her, however, it is new territory for us.  She will be separated from her twin sister Brynn.  So we shall see.

Yes, and if you are wondering I will be running around like a crazy woman. What a mother will do for her children.   If you need me I will be in the car.  Mama's taxi.  Brynn's school starts at 8:00, Anna's at 8:30 and Caroline's at 9:00.  So I will have to be on my toes!

Caroline returns to school for the first time since her illness.  She is super excited  I am super nervous.  She will be fine but I have hovered over that sweet girl and it's time to give her some space.  I pray God's protection over her.  My family teared up often this past week watching her swim her heart out.  My Dad kept saying, "I can't believe this is the same little girl."  She has come far, but we can't forget, it's still fresh in our minds. She will be in the same class as her cousin Clara.  Stacy and I have already started praying for their teachers. They will need it!  I am considering buying them some ear plugs.  Those two kiddos are loud and when they are together... forget it.

Brynn is returning to elementary school.  She has excelled there.  I can't believe she will be in third grade.

Little Mama...aka Aubrey will be enjoying some one on one time.  She is starting ballet in the tots class this year.  It truly is all she talks about...oh and her birthday which she tells us is coming up soon...February... but who's counting.  She does a mean twirl to Lionel Richie's "Ballerina Girl."

In the next pic Aubs is sporting her tutu, soccer socks and her sister's swim medals.  Priceless.

Looking forward to the first day of school for my chicks.  Time to leave the nest once again.

May The Lord bless you and keep you.

May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you.

May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.