It has to be just the right circumstances. One, if not two babies napping which honestly, doesn't happen that much anymore. Two 7 year olds occupied either watching t.v. or doing homework and someone here to watch all four children. The best scenario is all 4 in bed for the night with Daddy home to babysit. Keep in mind for that to occur I would have had to finish dinner, clean up the kitchen, bathed and dressed the kiddos and given some of the 500 goodnight kisses, drinks of water and obliged multiple bathroom trips and still have the energy and desire to step out my front door.
When I do try and get out of the house alone I have toddlers hanging on my legs my twins crying that they never get to go with me and honestly, I usually cave and end of taking at least one of my girls if not all of them.
Yesterday, I got to go Christmas shopping all by myself. The whole time I had to talk to myself. I found myself frantically picking up stuff to buy without really thinking. That's what I do when the girls are with me. I had to keep telling myself, "you have time," "take your time," "you can try that on if you want you are by yourself." I also found myself still feeling panicked at the thought of toddlers crying for me at home. I must have looked at my watch 100 times to see how long I had been gone.
Ok, I have to admit as nice as it was to go shopping alone, I truly missed my babies. (My twins were at school). I was all too anxious to get home and see them. I know, I know weird isn't it?
Lord, help me take time for myself and not feel guilty about it. Help me to remind myself that I am doing one of the best things I can for for my family when I take care of my own needs occasionally. Thank you for giving me an overwhelming love for my children, that even when I do take a break for myself I want to be with them again. I can't even imagine the all consuming love you have for us--your children.
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