Think.

My friend just recently went on an vacation without her children.  She mentioned how tough it was preparing to leave.  She said she had so many  loose ends to tie up so that her kids would be well cared for while she was gone.  She mentioned it was hard to write everything on paper that needed to happen in her household while she was gone.  We concluded that essentially the mother thinks for each member of the family.

It is the absolute truth.  I think for every member of my family!  Why has this never occured to me before?  Maybe that is why being a mother can be so overwhelming at times.  As a mother, I keep track of who needs their shots, whose winter clothes don't fit, who needs new soccer shoes, who has to take cupcakes to her class party on Tuesday, who doesn't like condiments on her sandwich, who's medication needs refilled and who has a spelling test this week.  The list is endless.  Alot of the knowledge that swirls around in my head everyday is intricate stuff I know about each child's likes and dislikes but also stuff that keep our lives organized.

If something would happen to me tomorrow, I'm sure everyone would survive.   But would Ben know that Aubrey likes to lay on top of her blanket, have a sippy cup of water and needs her lullaby music on before bed so she won't cry.  Does he know that her blue shoes give her blisters if she doesn't wear socks and that when she is done eating that she will throw her bowl if he doens't take it from her?  Would he know that Brynn doesn't like cheese on anything, she likes the crust cut off her bread and I have to check on her 50 times during bath time because she never gets the job done otherwise.  Would he know that Caroline hates jeans and only likes to wear leggings, that she never eats much breakfast in the morning so is always hungry around 10am. Anna likes one specific pillow case, wets her hair as soon as she wakes up or she freaks out and would rather be dead than wear a dress? Does he know that if I don't remind her, she will have toothpaste all over her shirt and half of the bathroom?  It's difficult to tell people how to do things in my house because of all the little details that only I know as their mother.  I know, I know, I'm sure I have critics out there that say,  "you don't have to do all that stuff." You're right, I don't,  I want to.  Since I can, why wouldn't I want to make my children's lives as wonderful as possible?

Not to mention, the stuff I know and do for my husband that makes him feel loved and cared for as well.  Nothing makes Ben feel more loved than a clean house and a home cooked meal.  So, whenever possible I try to oblige.

I did have to get rid of my dogs...they were pushing me over the edge...

With four kiddos someone always needs new shoes, something for school, or has an activity to attend.  I pray daily that I can keep everything straight.  My neighbor told me the other day that her friend said to her, "Did you know that Shannon has two babies in addition to her twins? That's crazy. I pray for her all the time!"  That made me laugh.  I hope she really does pray for me all the time because I need it.  I only do my job well with lots of prayers and God's help.

So days that seem long, yet I feel like nothing has been accomplished...NONSENSE... everyday I think for 6 people! No wonder my brain is so tired at night.
Mom's, many people can't even think for themselves let alone 4, 5 or 6 people and especially do it with as much love and grace as we do!  So bravo!

 It makes me realize why it is always so hard for me to write a note for the babysitter!

Dance Party.

We have so much fun in our home.  Really, there is alot of craziness but most of all alot of love and laughter.

One of the things my girls love to do is dance.  In my limited years of being a parent,  I have realized one thing, music and dancing are totally therapeutic.  With four drama queens living under one roof there is never a day when one of them isn't having a hard time. Music helps the soul and puts people in a good mood.  When it's "witching" hour...(that would be about 4pm -6pm and everyone is tired, we are waiting for daddy to come home for dinner and babies want to be held right in the middle of making dinner) I blast the music and we have a dance party.  Seriously, it works. 

Sometimes we play Christian music, Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, oh and yes, I am not ashamed to admit my girls can break it down to some good 'ole rap. 

I had to laugh the other night when I was driving to soccer and my 19 month old was singing the song "Tonight, Tonight"  No, she hasn't uttered the words to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star yet but the girl can sing a mean pop song;)

I will never forget when my twins showed their Grandma how they could shake their booty.  She laughed politely and asked them where they learned that.  Both of them smiled and said, "Mommy."  I own it.  I did teach them.  I have been known to wildly dance around the living room right along with them.  All the while, thinking if people could see me now.

Dance parties are some of my most favorite family memories. I have captured them on video many times.  I never want to forget our dance parties.  We have had many to get us to this place.

Next time it is chaos in your home, you are dealing with bad attitudes or sheer boredom have a dance party!

Legacy

After my girls left for school today I felt a little unappreciated....  kinda like a maid servant.  You see, on Friday my girls are tired and not so eager to jump out of bed and go to school.  So who do you think takes the brunt of their displeasure?...yes you're right, me. 

However, I used to feel mistreated... but in a way I know it is because my girls know I have unconditional love for them and they can be ugly at times and I will still be here with open arms.

As I was pondering my job as a stay at home mom, which I do often, I was thinking about the legacy I will leave my girls.  My Papa just passed away last week and we talked alot about his legacy. He really had an impact on me and for that I am eternally grateful.

At my Papa's visitation I saw many people I had not seen in years. Most of them asked me what I did. My response was, "I have 4 kids," but as soon as the words left my mouth I instantly felt a pang go through my body. I wish I could have said something brilliant.

I thought alot about my feelings and concluded a mother is the primary teacher of the next generation there is no more important job.

God will honor a mother's love by blessing her and blessing her children.  A mother teaches by communicating her values and priorities and by being a model that her children can pattern themselves after. 
She models to her daughter the significant impact of her role as a wife and mother.  She models to her son the kind of woman he should marry.  She also teaches to her son how to honor and appreciate a woman's responsibility of being a wife and a mom.

I would like to thank my mother because I could not have had a better teacher.

In my opinion being a mother requires God's power to love and nurture.  Especially, on Friday mornings when children are mad at the world!

So when I am feeling trod upon I need to remember I am irreplaceable in the family.  Motherhood is a high and holy calling!

What kind of legacy will we, as mothers, leave?

I love this song:

http://youtu.be/eHX3qV83W3k

Made.

My butt is too big. The loose skin from pregnancy hangs over the front of my pants,  no matter how hard I work out ( Otherwise known as muffin top).  My hair is too flat.  My arms are flabby.  If I only looked like that woman....sound familiar?  These thoughts run through my head on a daily basis.  I know just from hearing my girlfriends talk that most of us have majorly distorted body images!  We are our toughest critics.

Today as I was getting dressed Caroline was sitting in the floor watching me.  She said, "Mommy I wuv (love) you and you are pity (pretty)."  It made me smile. Out of the mouth of a toddler.    I thought, why can't I see myself in God's image?  He created me and I am unique and beautiful.

As badly as I might want liposuction and botox I'm taking my imperfections as battle scars. Until I have enough money to fix them...just kidding.... kind of!

God thank you for giving me a daughter to remind me I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Help me to teach my girls that YOU created them in YOUR image and they are masterpieces!  Help me to be an example of your teachings...even when it's hard! 

I'm sure with four daughters we will have body image issues along the way.  I'm just gearing up!

"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well."  Psalm 139:14

Rock.

When I pondered motherhood before I had kids I always imagined the birthday parties, family holidays and school days.  I never thought about the "stuff" for lack of a better word that wouldn't be fun but would bond me to my children.  The nights of sleeping with Brynn because she was in a new country and would wake up scared in the middle of the night.  Trying to arouse Anna  from a dead sleep to go to the bathroom so she wouldn't wet her bed.  Rocking with Caroline at all hours because she was obsessed with nursing and I couldn't tell her "no".  Clutching Aubrey to my chest as she suffered through sickness and fever.   It is the glue that binds us together.

The other day I was putting Aubrey down for her nap and she looked up at me and said, "Ock Mama ock." (Translation "Rock Mama rock.")  She wanted to rock.  Back in the day I would have thought to myself,  no she is stalling.  She needs to take her nap.  I need to get things done.  Today I looked at my precious ones face  and rocked.  I sat there breathing her in.  Looking into her eyes all the way to her soul. She met my gaze and never looked away.  It was so comfortable.  I held her tightly in my arms rocking back and forth.  My heart was overflowing.  I was thinking of all the chaos that has transpired in my house over the past few years.  I chuckled at all of the poopy diapers I have changed and all of the vomit I have cleaned up and all I could do was grin.  No, it hasn't all been rosey and I still say,  "I'll sleep when I'm dead."

  I can't hug them enough or kiss them enough or pray with them enough.  My girls and I are bonded for life over the good times and not so good.  Lately, I have been taking the time to rock....  even my seven year olds.

Good things.

Boy, I have those mornings when I wake up and watch out world.  I am mad and negative and my day hasn't even started yet.  Those are the days I don't want to face the tasks in front of me.

One thing I've learned over the years is negativity breeds negativity.  It sounds simple enough but it took me a long time to figure this out.  If I am complaining about my husband I will find flaws in him all day long.  I just heard something a few months ago that hit me like a ton of bricks.  When a certain child is bothering me and I am having negative feelings toward said child, that is the child that needs to be drawn close, even  if my instinct is to push her away.

It is necessary to bring our minds into submission.  Prayer is always helpful but so is looking for the "good things."

Here are my list of "good things" from today:

Bright blue skies and sunshine

Big sunglasses (They make even the worst hair look much better when worn on top of the head. Casually chic.  I never leave home without them!)

Kisses on the nose from my toddler

The sound of laughter at my breakfast table. (Helped me forget about the mess underneath my breakfast table)

Music (Never start cleaning the kitchen without some good tunes)

Close parking spaces (such a gift when maneuvering 4 children 2 of which are toddlers through a parking lot.)

Workout buddies

The smell of clean laundry.

There can be so much joy in everyday experiences.  We need to find it.

Wow.

My kids beg me all the time to go to McDonalds and EAT INSIDE.  We go to Mc Donalds often, but because of the sheer volume of my children I never take them into eat.  I don't know what I was thinking, but tonight, I agreed to take them to McDonalds and eat inside.

 I don't even know where to start.  Caroline was running around like a banshee.  Aubrey was screaming at the top of her lungs for food and everytime I would give her a bite she would put it in her mouth and then spit it on the floor.  My twins were arguing about the happy meal toy and asking for drink refills every 30 seconds.   At one point, I looked over and Caroline was standing on top of the table without any shoes on.  I was speechless.  I have "those kids."  You know..... those kids that we all look at before we actually have any kids of our own and say, "my kids will never act like that."   To top it all off,  as I was getting ready to leave, Caroline decided to bolt out the door into the parking lot.  The drive thru line was full of cars, so to save her life (with Aubrey on my hip) I ran and grabbed her by the back of her hair to get her to stop.  Caroline immediately began screaming loudly that I hurt her and cried "Mama, why did you pull my hair?"  Wow.  I have nothing else to say but wow.  What a stressful experience. 

People often look at me like I am a side show at a circus with my four kiddos and tonight I totally didn't blame them.

The range of emotions I go through in a day is strange. It's like a roller coaster.  Tonight I absolutely wanted to kill all of my children. I felt mad and ignored.  However, now that they are bathed, and in bed, my heart is overflowing with love. I cherish standing at their bedroom doors watching them sleep. I listen to their sweet breathing and think about what blessings they are. I know it's bipolar.

I do know one thing-- of all the "mom advice" I have gotten over the years I hear one piece of advice over and over.  Don't forget to pause and enjoy your children's younger years, although, they can be overwhelming at times, they go by so quickly.

So tonight I ask myself, am I wishing away the days?  Am I always too anxious for my kids to get to the next stage of life so it will be easier?  I know deep down that these days are fleeting like a thief in the night.

So, McDonalds tonight was a disaster...mildly put. Instead of thinking I can't wait until my kids are older so we can eat at restaurants like civilized people ...I'm just going to let it go. I wouldn't change a thing.  If anything, we were some fabulous dinner entertainment.  One day when I am sitting in a restaurant as an empty nester, I will look back and laugh and wish I could do it all over again.

I still profess that McDonald's drive thru is a gift from God!